sprybot

Expectations

2009-03-13T23:04:00.000-05:00

My friends bought a used mattress from Craigslist. For the un-initiated, Craiglist is kind of like Ebay, but it’s less polished and you have to go pick up whatever you buy. Expectations were high—they were confident of a good deal.

But expectations collided with reality when they went to get the mattress. The way they tell the story, I can only imagine that Chewbacca opened the door—a really sweaty Chewbacca who chain-smoked. They bought the mattress anyway.

The aroma of disappointment filled the van—that and the smell of a wet, chain-smoking wookie. My friend looked at his wife and said, “You want to take it straight to the dump?” She thanked him with a simple “yes.” So they drove to the dump and paid to unburden the mattress they had just driven thirty minutes to buy!

The deal they made was so bad, they were relieved to be able to end it with a little extra cash. In Ephesians 2:1-3, we’re facing a lousy deal and it’s all our fault. That’s what makes 2:4-5 such a relief—God doesn’t stick us with the stinky mattress. But that just scratches the surface.

Thinking

2008-10-27T14:46:00.004-05:00

I was just reading from a book written in 1877. I know, but I do that kind of thing. The quote was from a man named Phillips Brooks--he was the kind of guy who was introduced by people like Billy Sunday. Anyway, here's what he said:

...and the only sure and lasting way to make men believe in one's devotion and purity is to be what one wishes to be believed to be.

Two weeks ago, I heard Andy Stanley say the same thing in reference to moral authority, and the necessity of our deed and creed aligning.

So, today I've been thinking a lot about where we're headed in ministry. For the past year, I've been helping to lead an effort by our church to reach young adults. It started out okay, but we've veered from our task. We replaced the slow growth of a solid leadership team with a weekly event, and now the event is hollow.

Somewhere along the way toward credibility, we took a short-cut to build something. But we've caught ourselves. For the next two months, we're circling the wagons and dropping the event. The leaders are re-grouping, and we're being joined by a new handful of young people who are determined to carve time and opportunity to serve our lost friends and the world we live in. It's the right decision--we need time to pray and dream again. And we need to move forward in ways that address those dreams--in ways that truly serve our disconnected friends.

In the midst of this renewal and refocusing, I find myself uneasy. In the words of a friend, "It's difficult to pause in a culture that values measurement." Somewhere along the way, I've become a performer. Slowing down is hard to do, but here we are. I'm haunted sometimes by the ministry of Jonathan Edwards (I know, more old stuff). At one point in his ministry, he paused and looked around. Then he began to visit the home of each person in his church, one by one. He both encouraged and challenged them--in their own homes. That church became the seed of the Great Awakening.

It's worth it to take time to pause, to sharpen the axe, to get your bearings. I think that's why we started The Clearing in the first place, right?

You can read the whole book by Phillips Brooks here and now.

Link

Tattoo

2007-06-12T23:41:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile, but now that I'm done with five semesters of Greek, I'm hoping to return to the blogosphere! Right now, I'm sitting at the beach watching Miami Ink. I've heard about it, but we don't have cable at home.

I'm really struck by the show. I'm hoping this is the last episode tonight, because if it isn't I'm going to be up awhile. The same thought keeps running through my head--If we really want to reach out to this generation, we need to set up some tattoo shops....

If that seems kind of silly, then watch an episode and listen to the stories. And while we're at it, what if we could find a way to offer pre-marital counseling to non-christians?

Suffering

2007-04-03T23:56:00.000-05:00

Here are some great thoughts on suffering and American theology from a dear old friend (Natey K anyone?). I got to touch on some similar themes preaching at Bent Tree a couple of weeks ago.

Link

AND, here are two other great links:
1. A 4-hour debate/conversation at Saddleback between Rick Warren [wiki] and Sam Harris [wiki] on the existence of God. It was Newsweek's idea. Link.
2. Time Magazine article on teaching the Bible in the public school system. Link.

What the Church may Become. I hope.

2007-03-19T22:08:00.000-05:00

Read this first.

This is the buzz. Scott McKnight also hints of "post-evangelicalism." I don't think the fallout can be homogeneous, but I think the blending is well under way. It has been for some time, but it wasn't identified as a pattern. Early on, there were Bible churches dealing with charismatics and the birth of Emmaus/Tres Dias communities in the mainlines. Then there were Alpha classes among the Episcopals. All of these were a re-centering among their own ilk.

Seven years ago (or so), a lot was being written about evangelical college students using Gregorian chant and ancient rituals. People thought that was the next big thing and started chasing it as an end. What wasn't clear was how many other believers were also becoming unsettled.

The thing she hints at but doesn't address is globalization. This time, not only can we speak to each other, but we can ALL speak. Look at the idea in your head that separates the South African Episcopals from the US Episcopals now that they've wrestled with homosexual clergy. And take a glance backward at how much your view of Roman Catholics has shifted in the last decade. For those wrestling with definitions of Orthodoxy (like Doug Paggit), this is exciting and may seem like a move toward ecumenism. For some evangelicals, it's terrifying and a slippery path to liberalism (many liberals are paying attention).

I think it will continue to blend for awhile, but there will also come a reassertion of the oldest creeds. This will expel some, but energize others. Seriously, isn't it at least a little exciting to see things like Lent and Advent being reclaimed and cleansed of their baggage--the presence of ritual and the sacred again in the midst of all the postmodern chaos? I believe the same will continue to happen and more and more new believers will be reaching back to our foundations for answers. That's why Rob Bell's podcast has 40,000 downloads a week--he's teaching the Old. Same thing for John Piper.

Okay--a lot more than I meant to write.

The Jesus Tomb

2007-02-27T23:41:00.000-06:00

This is a duplicate of my post on a blog dedicated to our junior high staff:

Thanks to Erik for pointing this out! As it happens, one of my professors was supposed to be at the press conference and couldn't make it, but he's already seen the documentary and has some excellent comments here. Watch for more from him here. Seminary comes in handy!

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, James Cameron (director of Titanic) is hosting a documentary on the Discovery Channel this Sunday. The promo asks, "If the bones of Jesus were found in Jerusalem, would that destroy the Christian faith?" They believe they have indeed found them, and those of his wife and son. Yes, that would pose quite a problem, since we believe in a BODILY resurrection and all!

Relax. They didn't find what they think they found. But there will be quite a bit of media attention on this in the next couple of days and you may even get some difficult questions from students. Remind them that we never need to fear a real search for truth.

Dr. Bock said this morning in class, "It's like a 21 slide PowerPoint presentation and each slide is contested. For the claim to be true, every slide must build from the one before." Take a peek at his blog or feel free to direct students there to read along with you. If you'd prefer a quick overview, here's a sampling of highlights:
1-It is almost untenable that a Jewish family from Galilee would purchase a family tomb in Jerusalem.
2-The names being used are not agreed upon--there are some significant difficulties with the equating of Mariamne with Mary Magdalene.
3-There is no agreement that this is actually a family tomb.
4-You'll have to see his post the rest, including some truth about DNA evidence. Be sure and go to the main blog as well for his updates. You'll hear him quoted quite a bit this week.

SO, since we're looking at Jesus and comparing him to who the culture thinks He is on Sundays, we're going to hit this head on in class on Sunday. I'll play some video from either CNN or Discovery and we'll let the kids try to help find solutions. As always, you're welcome to come (especially if you're on the Sunday Team)!

[staff meeting reminder removed]

UPDATE: There's a good article here, including an observation by a prominent Jewish scholar. AND, this blog (Ben Witherington, PhD.) is also full of excellent material for dealing with the claims. Be sure and look through the many comments and responses (Dr. Witherington is a friend of Dr. Bock).

FURTHER UPDATES: see www.crosstie.org

Emerging Article

2007-01-25T22:48:00.000-06:00

There's an excellent article on the emerging church here. These are the Christians our students are becoming (and maybe us too). I think the challenge it brings to the mainstream is exciting, and though some have found dangerous theology, others are finding ways around it--or should I say--others are reaching similar conclusions about practice and worship and mission with theology that is clearly orthodox, and yet humbly so.

I'll probably post the article on Crosstie.org in a couple of days.

Experiment

2006-12-31T10:13:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been out for so long! This semester got a bit overwhelming. And then there's a little experiment I've been working on.

I've often noticed how easy it is to find Christian resources through Google searches and the like, but I've rarely had a way to find reliable Christian resources. AND, I've found many useful things online over the years that I wish I could share with folks. Add to that a desire for pay off school debt, and there you have it: CROSSTIE.ORG. Please VISIT!

Ok, it's really just another blog that looks like a website, but I'm trying to index and evaluate many good online tools with room for the opinions of other folks (it's unmoderated for now). I plan to add at least one a week and label them so you can easily find things through the contents (or the search at the top of the page). I hope to keep the list down to a workable number of good sources and do not plan to evaluate things I don't find useful.Nor do I plan on sticking with evangelical or even Christian material. If I find it helpful for ministry, I'll try to stick it in (for example).

Anyway, take a peek and share your thoughts. I'll be adding book links through Amazon at a later date.

2006-11-26T11:55:00.000-06:00

11:45. First car-sick of the trip, but what a difference a year makes. She used a barf bag!
-steve

2006-11-26T08:58:00.000-06:00

8:45 (our time) -- leaving Bryant, AR (Arkansas).
-steve

2006-11-25T07:28:00.000-06:00

Leaving Johnson City. 8:20 Eastern, 7:20 Central.

-steve

2006-11-18T08:14:00.000-06:00

8:00 leaving West Memphis. Lots of coughing last night. We didn't sleep well, but we're excited.
-steve

2006-11-17T15:43:00.000-06:00

3:00. We're pulling out. Madison's play was great. We're tense but it's getting better.
-steve

Pumpkins Three

2006-10-28T19:42:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's difficult to recognize just how fast they grow, and to see how the little ones go even faster. Megan cut her own pumpkin when she was six. Madison did it last year at five. Now Mackenzie this year at four. But we sure do have a good time doing it!

They pick the pumpkins and draw their faces. I copy them to the pumpkins and make a lid. Then they do the rest with tools like dull jigsaw blades (ok, I did the mouths for Megan and Mackenzie, but it was just because Kenzie got tired and Megan was worried about the tongue). At the end, I clean them up so the edges are good and the light works well.

You can buy pretty cool designs now, but nothing beats seeing their personalities shine through ;-)

Can you guess?

2006 (above, clockwise from left): Madison's pirate, Mackenzie's scary face and Megan's hillbilly.

2005 (clockwise from left): Madison, Mackenzie, Megan.

2004 (clockwise from left): Madison's self-drawn, Megan's self-cut and Mackenzie's dad-did-it special.

Anatomy

2006-10-19T23:35:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to admit to watching the show because some of my readers are also our students, but it does intrigue me ;-)

I am struck by the way they have chosen lives that completely disregard the plan of God and that they so clearly suffer the consequences of life outside His provision. Repeatedly. They speak frequently about the pain they bring, yet they remain dedicated to these same afflicted behaviors. It is a beautifully disturbing view of original sin and the fallen state of man. They continue in the same pattern of sin and disregard for God because they are unable to do otherwise. The unregenerate, un-redeemed human is unable to climb out of the pattern. They see the pain. They recognize the consequences. They fail to change. They are trapped. Non posse non peccare. Not able not to sin.

But the writer adds an incredible irony--these same fallen and pitiful creatures devote their lives to the removal of physical pain and affliction. They are doctors, but more importantly they are surgeons and save human life on a daily basis. In a physical sense, they bring salvation, redemption to human bodies. Yet they themselves remain condemned, unregenerate, unable to lift themselves from spiritual bondage as they deliver others from physical bondage. There is one exception, and I wonder at the coincidence that her faith was established in early episodes. She is as frail and subject to failure as the others. But unlike them, she learns. Posse non peccare. Able not to sin.

An Amish Nocturne

2006-10-02T22:10:00.000-05:00

Peter Berger calls it a signal of transcendence--an experience in this physical reality that hints that surely something more is out there. He names five: order, hope, play, humor and one other that seems to strike a chord today--damnation.

There are certain actions among humans that seem to demand more than mere justice can provide. Crimes that beg for a punishment greater than we can deliver. Crimes that make us long for a greater justice.

I know, that makes for a lousy theology of Hell and it implies that I am somehow less of a disappointment to God than a man who murders little Amish girls, but days like this at least clarify what Berger meant. That he chose girls is unfathomable. That he bound them and executed them with a 12 gauge is difficult even to type. That he is the third school shooting in a week weakens my resolve. That he took his own life and bypassed a trial is hollow and unsettling.

When we were children, we drilled for an atomic war. We would all joke of the lunacy of sitting beneath a desk to be safe right after we had seen video footage of exactly what a blast would do to us. But there was never a war. We feared it, but it never came.

For our children, life is so very different. They drill for lockdowns. Teachers know how to evacuate a room in secrecy. Administrator speak in code to avoid panic. They know what to do when the first gunshot is heard. And they use it. They used it in Colorado last week. They used in Wisconsin. I'm not so sure about Pennsylvania. This community of pacifists didn't have a lockdown drill in place....

It is quite sobering to consider what our students must feel when they walk into a building that seemed so safe when we were young. It affects the way I teach, or at least, it will.

God told Habbakkuk that it is in mercy that He withholds judgment, for if He so moves, He will judge all, not only those whom we would choose. But there are days when Habakkuk's request is hard not to utter. "How long, O Lord...."

Dragonflies

2006-09-23T20:55:00.000-05:00

It seems events of late have swamped my blogtime! My apologies to all of you have built up (unread) in my Bloglines account, but I'm beat. But it's good.

We've been a bit busy since we got here, but the addition of Greek last year certainly changed things! Now that I'm third semester, I honestly put in about four hours of homework for each class (and that's without continuing to memorize so I can pass the proficiency test). So, you might ask, "Is it really worth it?" I ask the same thing on a weekly basis, especially when I'm trying to do a good job at work and at home, but the answer is, "Yes." For those of you who have read the Tolkien trilogy, it's the difference between seeing the movies and reading the books. The movies are great, but there's a level of understanding you get from the book that you just can't match with film. Most people don't need it, but it's great to have a book-reading friend around when the movie gets confusing, especially the first time you see it. That's Greek--it's great to have someone around who can fill us in when the confusing stuff comes up or add the insight that reveals the beauty and mastery of the Word.

Truth is, I'm developing a kind of discipline that I've needed for years and it pays off in other ways. I'm thoroughly enjoying teaching with Wildlife (and, believe it or not, Greek helps; it's amazing the confidence that school builds). I'm enjoying our new Pruitt Saturday Sabbaths (I stayed up till 4 to keep a promise to do no work or school today and it was totally worth it). And... I'm enjoying coaching the Dragonflies! That's right, we just can't keep away from coaching one of the girls! Soccer with three players makes our schedule a bit tough, but the time in the community and the chance to cheer for our daughters make it all worth it (tough is just part of the package for a few more years). Today's game was excellent--it is amazing when you can see 4-year-olds responding to practice and coaching. Today we stopped the ball and turned it around. We've been working on that one skill for two weeks and today they all did it.

It seems I'm learning that I love the chance to teach. Period. 4-year-olds. Junior High. You name it. But most of all, I like to see it work.

Agent of Change

2006-09-04T20:03:00.000-05:00

We weren't in the same business, really, but I only pray to be as effective as he was. All of us felt like we knew him and he did something for the world that those of us in ministry long for--he changed it. It wasn't spiritual. It wasn't eternal. But the way we all think about crocodiles and snakes has been altered and it is solely because of his passion and commitment.

We pray that God works through us as we teach, and sometimes He does. But it is inspiring nonetheless to see his influence and wonder what God could do when we become as passionate for people as Steve Irwin was for reptiles.

I'll miss him.

Obsession

2006-08-20T23:16:00.000-05:00

Preaching at Bent Tree often invites some wonderful and challenging conversations. Last week, I met with an alcoholic friend (13 years dry) to follow up some thoughts on idolatry from the Gideon message. As it happens, people in recovery often speak of addictions like obsessions and she wondered if obsession and idolatry were really so different and if the Bible had more to say here. We looked at Peter's mention of mastery in 2 Peter 2.19 and Paul's equivocation of greed and idolatry in Colossians 3.5, but then she added something really intriguing: her first sponsor many years ago said that if you're thinking about it before bed and if it's the first thing you think of in the morning, then it's an obsession, whatever it is. That covers drugs, porn, people and even depression.

We turned to Deuteronomy 6.

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

These words were pretty important. They even have their own name--like the way we name the Golden Rule. They're called the Shema and are still considered the most important prayer in Judaism. Jesus affirmed as much in Matthew 22.37. Look closely at verse 7: When you lie down and when you get up.

That sounds like obsession to me. Perhaps the Shema is God saying, "You are designed for obsession, and here it is. Me. You are to be obsessed with me. I alone am God. All else is idolatry. Love me with the entirety of your soul."

I get to preach again on New Year's Eve (I've had to say no to any dates beyond that for now). I'm really tempted to teach on the Shema. If I do, I want to spend some time studying this idea. If it's true, I'm betting all of our recovery folks would relate. Actually, I'm betting all the sinners would relate. What's your obsession?

P.S.
1-The Noah and Gideon messages are up and linked on the right.
2-One of our elders has a friend who struggled with depression and another who still is. We met for lunch last week and had a great talk about depression and a lot of other things (like authenticity and the church). Anyway, it got me wondering if depression is really so different. In the end, depression is very selfish and a way of self-medicating just like alcohol or pills or porn, but controlling it is a bit more nefarious. In one regard, it's an obsession. In another regard, it is a disease. Depression differs in that it was often never invited and yet those who struggle with it sometimes nurse it because it takes you to a place that is strangely comforting although despairing. It is repulsive yet one cannot leave until released.

Noah

2006-07-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

I wrote this sonnet for the sermon I'm giving in the morning. I was having a hard time getting my arms around the story of Noah and this helped. It's a huge story about the nature of God and the nature of mankind and I'm still pretty nervous about teaching it. There are so many layers and I've chosen an application that's pretty broad and non-specific. It think tomorrow is one of those days that challenge our thinking about who God is more than a day that gives us a plan for the next week. I'm not using the poem in the sermon, but we did tag it onto the email that goes to the whole body each week.

Anyway, you need to know that the name Noah sounds like the Hebrew for comfort and there's a prophecy about that in Genesis 5.29.

Noah

His hand had stayed the furrow many days
without the tremble rain would recognize;
the oxen were resigned, the door was raised,
and thunder roared and ripped apart the skies.

A man of dirt might dream of dew and mist—
when water comes he’s thankful for the mud.
Raindrops would be blessing—never this,
the first fruits of fury and of blood.

Judgment smells like flotsam tinged with death.
Patience sounds like tide to those who wait.
Goodness looks upon all He gave breath
and Mercy says that none shall live save eight.

Alone, adrift, awake without relief,
aware that peace and Comfort come through grief.

(c) Steve Pruitt 2006

Parting Thoughts

2006-07-06T10:11:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the absence, but it's Student Missions Season at Bent Tree and thinks get pretty crazy, especially with summer school finishing up (I made a C+ in Greek, for what it's worth). And tomorrow, we head for the beach in the borrowed-once-again pop-up camper (a huge blessing the Housewrights have made possible!). SO, here are some thoughts for the week while I am gone:

Postmodern issues and the emerging church continue to challenge me. Thanks to Sheryl Belson for a copy of an excellent issue of The Economist. The link is here, but I'm not sure it will be around long (that's their image below). It's a great overview of changing trends and media. In addition, Mike pointed out an excellent podcast from DTS on emerging issues that features a good friend (he may not know I consider him that, so don't tell) and reader of this blog. It's here (in three parts, titled The Emerging Church Movement).

Cody, you know I agree on the humans=animals issue. But I do believe we have separated so far from that extreme we are sometimes seen as callous toward other life. I think there is ground somewhere in between that says human life is sacred because we are image-bearers, but other life is given to us as a charge and is not to be needlessly wasted, rather it is to be stewarded. I believe this is what makes the abortion issue so critical (and difficult)--a weak view here puts us only a blink away from experimentation on fetuses and the ludicrous claims of Peter Singer (as you mentioned). And, I thank God for you too!

Suzanne, I promise to write back soon, but I was thrilled to get your message! It's only fitting that a Tennessean has a cousin show up on the blog!

Amber, I think some OT classes would be great, but be sure you're ready for some of the ideas that Luke has faced. There are great professors at Milligan, but some have allowed a disbelief in the OT to creep into their teaching and will seek to explain away some of the miracles and the judgments. The chart from last post is partly intended for that issue--Jesus believed that Noah and Jonah were factual stories. To discredit the God of the OT is to discredit Jesus. SO, if you're braced for that (JP would be a good help), then go for it!

I'm teaching at BT on July 16 about Noah. Unfortunately, I have to write part of it on vacation, but I'm enjoying the study and am finishing up a sonnet that sums up some thoughts about Noah. Is it cheesy or too "birkenstock" to end a sermon with a poem (or just to bring it onscreen while I end)?

(sorry Kelly--it's just such a good adjective!)

wdJb?

2006-06-13T20:46:00.000-05:00

This one's not as polished as the others, but it's the most useful chart I've made lately. Have you ever considered the testimony of Jesus as a validation or challenge to your own beliefs? Our professor mentioned a handful of stories that Jesus affirms as true, so I wondered if there were other things Jesus beleieved that might be useful to our ears. The prof agreed to let me use it as an assignment, so here's my list of twelve issues people challenge and where Jesus stood on each. See what you think.

I'm tempted to try to sell these (it looks best on 11x17 paper), but I'd need to see if I need permission from the church. Be honest--would anybody buy something like this for a couple of dollars?

For you JC folk, that Jesus is located in Roselawn Cemetary.

King

2006-06-07T03:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this isn't going to be more fun. That last one shows the relationship between free will and original sin and our need for grace. This one's a little more accessible and you can look it up.

There are eleven prophecies in the gospel of Matthew where Matthew specifically points out fulfillment. They're a little weird until you see two things: One, Matthew is writing to explain how Jesus is the King of the Jews but they rejected him. The stories take place in the past and show what happened. Two, the prophecies weren't fulfilled in the way we use that word. It's more like they were satisfied. And, some of them are less about Jesus and more about how he parallels something that happened to Israel (like they were rescued from Egypt and so was he). When that clicks, they make a lot of sense, but even better, they tell a story. Matthew was using the references to Old Testament events to explain who Jesus was and to tell they story all over again in a beautiful and elaborate way.

I just finished this for class tomorrow. The story is on the right. If I get a bad grade, I'll fix this post--so don't go preaching any sermons with this yet!

Sin and Destiny

2006-05-31T22:22:00.000-05:00

As you may have picked up from recent posts, I've spent a lot of time with this issue lately. Below is the result of that time and some significant frustration trying to create a visual flow of the issues. As it happens, many other issues only matter to certain brown boxes (like total depravity is only an issue on the left). Also, the 3 brown boxes on the left are all Christian positions. The 4th may be. The 5th (box on the right) is not. If you see any error, let me know.

Anyway, I know this is remarkably boring. I'll do better, I promise. I'm finishing the test for this class tonight (Wendy's recent post is much more authentic). But a couple of you may find it useful (I have a PowerPoint version that builds the chart as it goes--just ask). Thanks Kelly for the pic--your name is well preserved in the PowerPoint version and title slide, but no Kelly Michelle....

The tree represents original sin (am I guilty or not?). The fire represents salvation (who lights the spark and initiates--me or God?).

UPDATE: Diagram edited and replaced 6-1-06

Wisdom

2006-05-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

Inevitably someone asks if babies and the mentally handicapped go to heaven. Seriously. We all want to know, and I'm ready to give you the answer: Dunno. Seriously. But think about this--how would we as believers be different if God had spelled out the solution to this painful dilemma?

If you want resolution on the issue, then which pole is less offensive? If all babies are saved, then abortion becomes a benevolent and noble gift--a free pass to heaven granted only by the most loving and gracious of parents. Euthanasia as grace. Peter Singer would be validated.

If all babies perish, then abortion becomes unpardonable--the intentional condemnation of a tiny soul to the godless chasm of Hell. Miscarriages would be insurmountable. Life support for the yet unregenerate could never be terminated for the paralyzing fear that a DNR order is tantamount to damnation.

In his wisdom, He does not answer this one. He may hint, but He does not speak. Mystery, and the tension it produces, keep us diligent--and hopeful.

Tears

2006-05-17T21:30:00.000-05:00

I have been told that seminary takes a period of “getting over” before we’re any good for ministry. Perhaps that has been the experience of some. It wasn’t true today.

As we struggled over the doctrines of original sin and limited atonement and other fancy words that make people think we loose our hearts, we turned to Romans 8 and the moment built.

There are moments teachers plan for, moments we seek to create, moments we let ourselves believe we control. But sometimes, God actually moves and we get to watch and know we had nothing to do with it.

There is great pain in the Gospel—without it, the Gospel is meaningless. There are big words to describe it, but the truth is difficult: God will save some. Many others will perish eternally. We all deserve to perish; not because we have all sinned, but because Adam did and in some mysterious way, we participate in his sin. We’re guilty.

(Before you react to that, it’s a doctrine older than the Reformation and we have all held it for centuries. Those who didn’t were considered heretics. There is debate over total depravity, but not over original sin. But this is not the point.)

Some will be saved. Many will perish. Forever. And…God chooses. Read it. Romans 8.28-30. Those who love him were called. Those who are called are justified. Those who are justified were foreknown and predestined.

(The big debate here is over how He chooses and not whether He chooses—that’s true among the Cavinists, the Arminians and the Weslyens. Those who say He doesn’t choose must do so without the support of the Bible.)

That’s when the moment came. It was visceral and sincere. With tears and a quavering voice, she pleaded, “But how can he be just? What about my friends—the non-elect—who will go to Hell? I'm not okay with this!” Others chimed in and rang out. She wasn’t the only one crying. Dr. K was silent and moved, as he allowed the moment to find its footing. And then Dan spoke.

Dan’s voice was kind and empathetic and passionate, if not slightly trembling. He started to read from Romans 9. That’s when it all came together. Paul is writing through pain—perhaps even through tears—as he explains God’s love for Jacob and rejection of Esau. Paul feels the weight of verse 19—if it is God who decides, then all are in accord with the will of God.

Here Paul turns the corner. He doesn’t answer the question. Instead, he pulls the focus back to the God we do not nor can not fully comprehend. Although it reads like a rebuke, Paul tenderly returns us to our place as humble and undeserving sinners. Sinners who have been given mercy by the Potter. But it comes with a burden: mercy reminds us of the wrath.

Paul calls it unceasing anguish. I saw it today at seminary as I watched a class weep for the lost. I continue to find my heart here. I hope I never get over it.

Tidbits
• There’s a great article here on the confusion over U2’s use of the phrase “coexist.”
• We’re going to the beach in July—we’re camping again and pretty excited ($15 a night and a much shorter drive and thanks again to T. H. for use of the camper)!
• Dad had his first epidural yesterday (yep, an epidural for a problem in his low back). So far, he’s out of his wheelchair (which I didn’t think would happen) and he asks that we keep praying!

Which Hell?

2006-04-28T16:06:00.000-05:00

I had found myself prepared to dismiss much of the emerging church discussion. Some of the voices and thier distance from orthodoxy led me to turn my back. Then I had lunch with one.

On Tuesday, at the National Conference on Preaching with Pete and Scott, We went to eat with Doug Pagitt, a leading voice in the movement and the pastor of Solomon's Porch, kindof. As it happens, he and Pete played basketball together in undergrad and I am so very thankful to have been included. Three hours later, we finally re-entered the conference.

Doug is fascinating, both in his sincerity of pursuit and in his courage of conviction. While we differ in our views on the early expressions of Christianity and the roles of scripture and authority, it was a wonderfully stimulating discussion and at times convicting. I have held a silent belief that those on the edges would take us back to discussions of myth and would fade from the scene, but Doug changed my view. We cannot merely form our positions and step away. We must engage.

He forced me beyond my categories and it stirred things up both in my home and in my early morning Greek class. Some of the emerging leaders are challenging the ideas of orthodoxy and the expression of a single form of Christianity. Doug would be more comfortable to speak of various Christian expressions appearing in differing regions during the first few centuries. I would have been more comfortable to speak of ~~heresy~~ error. He would attribute the efforts of the early fathers to silence early dissenters to both fear of loss and an overt influence of Greco-Roman philosophy. In Greek on Thursday, a Latin reference led to a linguistic question I honestly thought would last only a few seconds. It lit a spark in Dr. J and I was surprised to find yet another passionate voice in facing the issues of postmodernism and the nature of truth and authority (Dr. E later that morning; I already knew about Dr. K).

It seems we have all been wanting to ignore the gospel of Judas--some have even ridiculed it. But our emerging friends are paying close attention and even embracing the questions. To those on the outside, confused by the Da Vinci code, they look like heroes. This is a discussion we must enter. An arena that cannot be ignored. As Dieter Zander echoed on Tuesday, I don't think postmodernism is the destination; it is the change to a new culture we can not yet see. If we're not careful, we will lose the ability to help frame the discussion as we move into this new place. I asked Doug about ideas of separation and judgment. He quickly went to my real question--"Do you believe in Hell?" He replied, "Which Hell--the place of the dead in the Old Testament, the chasm of Abraham's bosom or the lake of fire in Revelation?"

I fear in Doug an absence of any source of authority outside his community. He fears in me a reliance on boundaries set for a different age and a blind trust in the authorities of the past. This is a conversation that must be had. And it must be had with brothers and sisters who are sincere in their pursuit of Christ, even if we wouldn't always agree on exactly what that means. I've know for a long time that we came to seminary to prepare for the postmoderns. It seems I'm too late. Doug, if you see this, then thank you. I would love to follow up with another lunch someday--on me.

Verizon Update

2006-04-20T23:33:00.000-05:00

At last, it only took three hours to get the router working... As it happens, most of what was on the Verizon site was invalid as was most of what was online. I have a great router even though an hour with Linksys tech support couldn't fix it either. Verizon does this strange thing with MAC cloning that lets you bypass the modem without them having to actually alter anything and it only took me two nights to figure it out... But it's working!!

I have another surgical procedure tomorrow. They're stretching (actually, breaking) my esophagus first thing in the morning. Last time, I ended up in the ER for several hours, so let's pray this one goes a bit better.

Cody, we'll chat about U2 sometime (and I'm listening to a lot of Coldplay lately). But I can't rat out my friend! Feel free to send me the research, but I'm still going to be a fan--I just won't worship them (wink)!

Prayer rquest: Craig Hamlow wants me to come speak in Alaska the same week I'm going to the Catalyst conference in Atlanta (that I've been excited about all year). He's praying it will fall through! Personally, I'm torn.

Verizon and Stuff

2006-04-19T08:57:00.000-05:00

Sorry we're so behind, but our internet is down at home. We tried to change providers in March and found that we had to cancel our other account first (apparently we're the first ones to ever change providers and they don't feel the need to tell you they can't take over the lines for you). So, now that that's done, we spent 1.5 hours (honest) on the phone with Verizon Monday. After speaking with 8 people (honest) to see why we still had not been connected, someone said they had a hardware issue and had bumped our service ready date--without telling us, of course. However, they assure me that they may send emails out to people who don't have service. Anyway, we should be up by Monday. Somewhere in the middle of all that, the Verizon Fiber Optic people came by the house with a really sweet deal. Now it's kind of a race to see which Verizon branch (that doesn't speak to the other one) gets us set up first. Of course, the FiOS people haven't called back yet. Surprise! There. That felt good. I'll repent later.

UPDATE: 4-20-2006
Lo and behold, we had service last night when I got home. However, the modem they send is not configured to work with a router and Verizon forces the installation of proprietary software (after i was connected, I found out how to avoid that). SO, I worked until 2 trying to configure the modem to work with our router. Verizon has instructions, but they are incomplete (They leave things out, like the password you need to log onto the modem. Fortunately, you can find it through Google). But it still isn't working. Once you re-configure it, it cannot be hooked directly to the computer, so if the router setup isn't working (and it isn't), then you can't get online to do more research. You have to reset the modem and then reconnect everything. Not fun. I gave up and will begin again tonight. I'll probably have to reset my router and lose my encrypted connection to my laptop. Oh well. The good thing is it's a lot faster than they actually promise--a nice bonus since they force you through the beginner's installation and don't allow an express install (unless you think to Google it and find out about the online set-up which I didn't think to do).

But, I'm in a great mood and the trials of this week (not this one--the one I can't blog about) have actually been energizing and even encouraging.

Retreat

2006-04-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

We're heading to East Texas this weekend for our spring retreat. We call it the crossover weekend because we bring the 6th grade and start building relationships with them--I hope to eventually link to the promo videos our interns (Seth's blog is here but he uses his hidden student worship team blog almost exclusively now; Allie doesn't have a blog...yet) made because they're just funny (look at the Emerald Nuts TV spots and they'll be even funnier). Of course, I don't have them yet, so, here are some tidbits:

1-Someone on our team--whom we all know but whose name I hate to put on the internet--accidentally forgot to finalize our bus contracts and found out about it on Friday. It made her (oops, it was a she) nauseous but made us laugh. we've given her plenty of grief and many encouraging and clever comments so she's doing much better now. Remarkably, she solved the problem even though every bus in north Texas is rented out for the race weekend. Now we just need drivers for about 17 vans!

2-We segment the 8th grade on this weekend and talk about s-e-x. The goal was to replace our old purity weekend with something the parents would have an easier time talking their kids into. We did a much better job communicating that this year. We've got over 80 8th graders coming and it's going to be very cool (I think this might be a popular topic). And the parents know exactly what we're talking about (explicit content warning on the flyer and everything). I'm still a little gun-shy (and wiser) from last year, but I'm committed. Lisa and Tim, you'll appreciate that the guy time/gal time is almost identical to what we used to do with high schoolers.

Vision

2006-03-28T22:18:00.000-06:00

I've been listening to Andy Stanley lately. Not the Andy Stanley carefully organized in books and tapes, but the unedited Andy Stanley in an interview with the folks from the Catylst Conference. There were two points in particular that have grabbed my attention and won't let go.

First, Andy says that in the end, leaders look back on the opportunities they chased. We set goals, we plan, but we really have no control over what's coming and it is the opportunities taken that eventually define a ministry. That's freeing.

Second, he says that it is initiative that defines leaders much more than talent or intelligence. John Maxwell used to tell him to watch for staff who took ownership, who were willing to start things. Those were the ones to trust with more. It's about courage.

Which leads me to the real point. We have a little over three years left here. Suddenly, we begin to think about life after seminary. On Saturday, I asked Wendy what she saw next. Do we seek a wounded church looking for a senior pastor? Do we seek a small church ready to hire it's first pastor? Do we come on as an associate and wait patiently? Do we wait for a perfectly healthy church to look for a new pastor? Do we wait to be approached by someone seeking to plant? OR, do we start making plans now--initiating--to help plant or begin a new work....

It's a thought that haunts me. I struggle with the arrogance of those who begin churches by throwing off accountability. And yet, it is the repainting of the church that keeps it healthy and moving forward. And, if it can be birthed with the blessing of a parent church, then health can come quickly and humbly.

So, we begin a new set of questions and a new phase of life. Is there a particular region where we feel burden? Is there a particular group of people? Do we already have a vision and need to flesh it out? Are the leaders we would need already in our lives? When we came to Texas, we came with the vow that we would never again allow fear to keep us from following. My own sermon about Nehemiah 2 helped remind us of that, which is what God often does when we unfold the Word. We're starting to pray new prayers. We're ready to begin dreaming. We're not alone.

Beaver Bend

2006-03-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

It was colder than we expected. It was more rustic than we expected. It was less kid-friendly than we expected. It was exactly what we needed. Wendy will put up some more pictures tomorrow and she may disagree in her assessment, but I believe the camping trip that we cut short was a wonderful beginning to a wonderful week.

My soul needed the walks in the dark and the outdoor cooking and the chance to walk around with a hunting knife again. My kids needed a family without computers and cell phones and a daddy who had time and could teach them things. Wendy needed a husband fully alive again. We speak often of the busyness that comes when seminary is in session, but it's only in weeks like that when we really appreciate just how difficult life had been.

A week of late mornings, laughing children, long delayed projects, a smiling Wendy and a focused Steve brings us up to date like a long unbalanced checkbook. Now we once again begin to make withdrawals and we pray that the lessons of last week stick. We pray that we not let the account sink so low before the deposits come.

It was one of the best weeks of my life.

Tuesdays 2:
1-The Nehemiah sermon is online. There is no PowerPoint--I used props on stage. It will be awhile before I tell the other part of the story.
2-My sister Patti was in town tonight and took us to dinner and then sat down at our house for a long and well cherished family catch-up session.

Escape!

2006-03-12T21:12:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! We're off for Beaver Bend after a long Sunday preaching. Someday, I might tell you the whole story, but for now, it was a Sunday to remember.... We should be down from the web for at least a week!

Prairie Creek

2006-03-08T00:42:00.000-06:00

I went to Prairie Creek Park today (pretend it's still Tuesday).

I was up late last night and I sat and listened to Coldplay as I rebuilt Wendy's computer and broke down yet again over Robbie. On the way to a day retreat at Paul's house, I had extra time, so I turned down Custer Road.

I drove around the park and soon found a parking detent on the east side. As I walked down a dirt path, I was struck by the design of a tree with five or so trunks. I thought, "I know he would have liked this tree. I wonder if this is where he did it...."

I tried to call Judy Sarwin to complete my morbid obsession and ask her where he was. No answer, so I tried Josh Hebert. Josh lost his sister in December, followed by his job in Austin and now his engagement. He's hurting. He aches. It was a good time to call. By then, Judy had left a message so I tried again.

Judy doesn't see the park the same way. I want to bring my bike and take a picture of the tree and the bridges. She wants to avoid it. She doesn't walk there anymore. His degree of planning is difficult to process. It makes me question why he kept us away in Dallas. I know he felt like a burden, but I wonder if he was also minimizing the potential obstacles....

I was right about the tree.

We talked about Josh and his losses and the fruitless trail of regret. Judy has struggled with it herself but she's moving past it. I'm not sure Josh is able to do that yet. That's a prayer for him--there is no satisfying the "what ifs" and they will not end. They must not be entertained.

The park is lovely. I find it serene and peaceful and will return. I'm not sure why. I needed to land the unanswered questions. I needed to feel close to Rob. It didn't make me feel close to him. It made me angry. It made me feel defeat again. Someday I will go to Judy's and read the letters. Today it is enough to mourn. The tears will be back in a minute.

Velvet

2006-03-06T20:05:00.000-06:00

I finished Velvet Elvis last night. I've been told that Rob Bell rambles a bit and that his first book is understandably unpolished, but I disagree. Rob apparently designed his own print layout, with orange pages and subtitles for each movement; even the endnotes become part of the story. With that kind of attention to detail, it's silly to presume that the that the seeming lack of structure in any way rambles. Rather, his gentle narrative disarms. It engages your modern assumptions and your postmodern arrogance and then sells you a new view--a view of the church. A view of a battered and beautiful woman who has stood the test of 2000 years and continues on, even flourishing. And he brings you to tears in the process with truths that seem too good to be true and force you to the appendix to see if he can prove it. He says what needed saying and then he convicts you for your anger and your pride and your nearsightedness. It is a beautiful book. I hope to read it again. I hope he's at Catalyst.

I ordered five copies today to give away. GK, I'm sure you've read it, but if you haven't, then it's a must. I'd love to hear your thoughts and greatly miss the opportunity to do so regularly (maybe July).

For Lisa's List:
1-I've spent several days rebuilding Wendy's (new) hard drive. I've been enjoying it thoroughly!
2-I register for summer and fall classes on Wednesday and am nervous about how much I can take and how we'll pay for it.

Two More

2006-03-01T17:14:00.000-06:00

Ok--I'm starting to whine, but we're really wondering what God is up to (or is it the enemy?).

This morning, Madison got up sick (again) and then the hard drive crashed on Wendy's computer (as in, "computer no longer functions"). And, I haven't mentioned it, but Dad went into a wheelchair a couple of weeks ago from an injury, but it looks like he'll never leave it. A test last week said "degenrative bone disease" and that he has worsened. We looked at pictures and stuff this weekend--the change in him over the eight years Megan has been with us was startling.

BUT, I did have a GREAT lunch with Cody. Lesson learned: communication in print is tricky--you just don't understand until you can hear a person's tone and see his face. Then you can communicate.

Tuesday Again

2006-02-28T19:33:00.000-06:00

I'm tired and don't have anything exciting to say, so, I'm posting the obligatory two-fur:

1-My GI doctor called tonight (he's a great doctor). They got the biopsy back and I'm okay, but I do have Barrett's Espophagus. It's not cancer, but it means I'm higher risk and will need a biopsy every year or two, which is okay since I'll be having my esophagus stretched that often anyway. Apparently, I've had acid reflux for some time now and didn't know it was so bad....

2-I'm not going to read the book I have to report on Thursday. I have two things due in that class and I didn't get anything done over the weekend. So, I'm stopping where I am and just doing the other assignment. Worst case, it lowers my grade by one half a letter. I'm having to learn to let go of my GPA and worry more about what I'm actually learning. So, a seminary GPA (especially for the older students) doesn't necessarily reflect the value received.

3-Wendy's cool. You can read about our troubling weekend here. I know, this makes three, but everybody else is cheating. While I'm at it:

4-I got a personal copy of Adobe Illustrator today. We had some money left in an account at the DTS bookstore, so I did it. I've had CS2 at the office for several weeks now, but Adobe doesn't let you put a copy on the ole laptop. I'm still torn--Freehand has a lot of strengths, but so does Illustrator, even though the files are at least double the size.

Tuesday Duo

2006-02-21T20:36:00.000-06:00

1-The Gorillas will be returning in 2006! We tried to practice Saturday, but got ice-drizzled out. Seriously, I actually skidded twice on the way to church Sunday. It wasn't much of a skid, but it was actual ice!

2-There are over 300,000 discrepancies between the 6000 or so Greek manuscripts and fragments we use to form the Greek New Testament. However, 99% of those are spelling differences and such like potato or potatoe. It remains the single-most perfectly preserved text in history, followed by the Old Testament. My prof says, "we have the original texts and more." Our scholars spend much of their effort in trimming away the excess. After that, they add punctuation and paragraphs--neither of which exist in the manuscripts. And, there are another 10,000 Latin manuscripts to wrestle through (the language that Rome would bring). So, when we read the Bible, we interpret. Always. It keeps us humble to recognize the work of centuries of scholars who have so carefully sorted through so much. And yet, no real scholar has ever attacked the Bible on the grounds of it's preservation and authenticity. That's why the DaVinci Code is thin--it tries to cast doubt on something that study would quickly dispell. Ok, I haven't read it yet. I'll probably wait on the movie.

Sorry--I was trying to be short...

Moving the Anchor

2006-02-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, the much debated message is now online! You can get it here, or download it directly from the link to the right (way down). The "notes" file is actually the PowerPoint as a PDF file. It's all pictorial, so it may be hard to follow with the slides, but I think they help. This is from the 4th service, if that matters, it changed very little from service to service. No expectations on my end--but if you want to hear what I said, here it is.

Thanks to all who have chimed in--the feedback is truly helpful and it's a great test of my belief that a blog is a place to have a "real" and sometimes a little messy conversation (if you start cussing, I might have to edit that part ;-) ).

Tomorrow

2006-02-18T20:43:00.000-06:00

I just finished preparing the message for tomorrow. Seriously. I don't think I've ever spent so many hours on one message and felt like I had so little to say. I'll continue to pray, but after being up til 3 last night on it, I don't think I can make more changes. Father, use that platform tomorrow as you wish. Let your Word speak through me and let us see the future of Bent Tree as you would direct.

Fog

2006-02-16T10:55:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! My head is slowly rising from the fog. I just finished a rather consuming exam and now only see sermon prep, missions meeting prep and being "on-call" before me for the week. Right now, I'm between class and my mandatory spiritual formation group and stopped by the library. Tonight, I actually get to run home and just play with my kids and maybe even watch a movie with my college sweetheart! APPENDED: that's after I go register the Gorillas--our soccer team!

I know that's cryptic, but this has been a rather heavy week and I'm finally past one of the big hurdles (fellow Greek students, notice that I said "past" it, not that I "passed" it).

I am excited about pulling together the sermon for Sunday. It's a topic I love and a group of people I love and a method I love (yes I still have to write it, but much has been gathered). I won't be walking straight through a text, but I will be helping our body understand the shift in worldviews that is upon us and how to be Christian in the midst of it. I don't have all the answers, but I'm excited about what I think I know and I can't wait to help us enter this conversation.

Here's my 2 Things Tuesday 2 Days Late:

1-Dad had to get a wheelchair last week due to a back injury. Please pray that it doesn't become permanent.
2-I got Robbie's poem published, kindof. DTS has an arts community site and I submitted it last month. You can see it here. Yes, I'm shamelessly seeking affirmation or for someone to tell me to stop writing poetry ;-)

Tuesday times 1.5

2006-01-31T19:06:00.000-06:00

1-My uncle died yesterday. He was 92. He died from pneumonia. I know it's morbid, but I think that's a good thing--to be 92 and to not die from cancer.... He's the one in the middle, about 40 years ago. My favorite memory with him was going to see his sawmill. And, he had a very cool basement. The pretty lady is Mom's big sister.
2-Someone from our church called me today (Whitney). She's writing a drama to support the sermon I'm giving on Feb. 19. I think that is amazing. At the end of the day, my passion is communication. It's the same for the creative team. How do we best communicate what we believe God wants us to say? Kewl.

3-We started reading missions applications today. 7th graders are so easy to love. We asked, "How would you lead someone to Christ?" One said, "I might do it on the bus or at lunch. I might use the bridge trick with two Coke cans and some foil." We'll probably re-write that question for next year!

Tuesday Two

2006-01-24T20:11:00.000-06:00

1-Churchmarketingsucks.com just ran an article on an experiment from the UK where secular marketers were challenged to promote church attendance. While some things were predictable, there is a wealth of insight in their findings and observations. My favorite is this gem:

If a church can get in touch with Jesus' teachings rather than just ritual, so people actually live it out-that would appeal to me. I think people are also looking for a clear message that they could apply to their daily lives," says Wilcock.

To paraphrase, "If a church could act like Jesus, we could sell that."

2-I started reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell this weekend (in my spare time, right after that last post ;-)). In the first chapter he uses two analogies to enter a discussion about modernism (bricks) and postmodernism (springs). He does it so gently that defenses don't go up and he never uses the words modern or postmodern. Although the core tenets of postmodernism are antithetical to Christianity, so were many of the beliefs of modernism that we swallowed. Regardless of whether or not we buy into it, our culture has changed. There are good articles on postmodernism here. Notice this summation by Stanley Hauerwas, a prominent Christian ethicist:

I confess I take perverse delight as a theologian in the controversies surrounding postmodernism. Modernity sought to secure knowledge in the structure of human rationality, and relegated God to the "gaps" or denied Him all together. Modernity said that God is a projection of the ideals and wants of what it means to be human so let us serve and worship the only God that matters-that is, the human. Postmodernists, in the quest to be thorough in their atheism, now deny that the human exists. Postmodernists are thus the atheists that only modernity could produce.

Elements

2006-01-22T21:40:00.000-06:00

It's on the new David Crowder CD. Listen for it. He says, "the elements of worship are inadequate." It's quite a thought--he compares worship to our drawings of the atom. They are inadequate, but they are the best we can do. We simply cannot draw something that we barely even understand, so we draw what we understand: two dimensions and nice circles.

In 3 weeks, I get to speak to Bent Tree about our values and their relationship to a new, postmodern culture and generation. My efforts will be inadequate. I'm well into the plan and the scripture, but I have no answers for what must happen in the church for it to truly speak to my generation and those that follow. As a friend said last week, "I know what we are doing isn't the answer." And yet, we don't yet know the answer.

Our generation grew up in divorced homes; now we demand time off for family. Our generation grew up without the internet; now we direct it internationally. But we aged too quickly, and those below us have moved in. We look much like them, but something happened. Somewhere during our birth, the world began to shift. Modernism began to lose its grip. Postmodernism reared its head. Between us and the next generation, it took over. We are a legacy generation. We bridged the gap. We look postmodern and yet we are not fully so--the ideas were still forming as we grew.

And the church didn't notice. As postmodernism raised its voice, the church shouted. And as it shouted, it was ignored. Many among us still don't notice. They see the changes in culture and hold onto a belief that America will return to her roots. America will not return. The philosophical underpinnings of the age of reason that birthed her have died. The worldview that once provided a basis for the logic that governed our legal system, our ethical system and our moral base has passed. Authority is no longer assumed. And neither is religion. Where once we could not fathom a sincere ethical basis without a divine foundation, we now listen closely to men like Peter Singer and his atheistic pragmatism. Where life was once sacred, it is now merely life. Mere commodity.

In that culture, which many have failed to even recognize, the church must once again learn to speak. It has to move past the assumptions that have fallen. It must find itself again--not in the liberality of emotion and mysticism, but in the bedrock faith in a risen savior, eternal son of the triune God. We must find our footing in that which does not move. Something truly ancient.

In 3 weeks I get to explain to our church that the church will have trouble with us and even more trouble with those who follow. We love the church and yet we don't understand it. It is inadequate and we know it, but we're not very forgiving. I think James understood this. I think he had lived through a worldview that collapsed and then used his ministry to redefine the church--to release it to the gentiles. You'll have to listen to see why I believe that, but in the end, it's not an answer. It's inadequate. But maybe it's all we have. Maybe that 's the point.

Fire and Brimstone

2006-01-16T20:38:00.000-06:00

I reckon that very few ever truly come to love God as he is. Maybe I'm wrong. Jonathan Edwards was big on this. He made sure to occasionally address the reality of hell and he did so graphically. He liked to posit the image of God from Isaiah 63.3-4:

"I have trodden the winepress alone;
from the nations no one was with me.
I trampled them in my anger
and trod them down in my wrath;
their blood spattered my garments,
and I stained all my clothing.
For the day of vengeance was in my heart,
and the year of my redemption has come

It's not the language we like to hear, and yet it is God himself speaking to us. Because we ignore it, we have allowed the skeptics and atheists to own these passages and now even find them embarrassing (example).

It struck me today at lunch with Paul--all those images from the Tsunami last year and the harbors full of bodies... What did it look like outside the ark? I imagine that the population was smaller, but I'm sure that the currents sometimes concentrated the flotsam. Perhaps, God held them in the boat for a year in order for the disease to subside. It was unspeakable carnage, and yet it was God himself writing the story.

As the church, we must tell the story as it is. God has no need for our embarrassment. Only when we see him as He is do we ever really see Him. The love stands side by side with his wrath. He's much more like Aslan than George Burns or Morgan Freeman.

For Tomorrow:
1-Here are pictures and video of all the animals on Earth.
2-Here's how to be funny. It works...
2.5-Others have greatly influenced my thinking above, including Glenn Kreider and Jeff Bingham.

Deep Magic

2005-12-31T21:39:00.000-06:00

Tennessee is always difficult. We have so many wonderful stories and memories--it is so much a part of us. When we're in Texas, we forget exactly what we left behind, but going back brings it all to bear all over again and then we depart, with a renewed sense of loss and a new round of goodbyes. It was hardest for me when I drove away from Mom and Dad's--not really sure when I'll get to see them again. But I know the vivid memory will fade and I will yearn a little less in the coming weeks. And I look forward to going back to work--finding my place again, remembering that we are Texans now.

We saw Narnia last week. I needed something to vividly remind me of what I sometimes leave behind--something to rekindle my hope in the kingdom that is coming. I think we all treat it like Tennessee--we forget and memory fades the longer we're away. Now and then we have a moment that brings it all back into focus and we begin to yearn all over again. Paul called it groaning. We know that this is all temporary, but sometimes it feels so final and so permanent.

There are days when I think I'm ready to cash in my birthright and chase the wind--to seek a fortune and coast. Sometimes He sends a reminder like Narnia to bring back perspective. Other times He lets me simmer awhile until I remember that I simply have no other option. As Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." If I could learn to appreciate that like I do those mountains when I see them....

O' Charleys

2005-12-28T12:17:00.000-06:00

We haven't been out to eat in awhile. Maddie said, "Oh my word" on finding 2 forks in her napkin. Kenzie said, "Why is it a blanket?" about the cloth napkins.

Nashville

2005-12-28T11:48:00.000-06:00

On the way home. Lunch in Bellevue. Strange to say, but the overpasses in Nashville are beautiful--carved out of hills with exposed rock faces.

Full Circle

2005-12-24T02:14:00.000-06:00

Today was one of those wonderfully blurry days that will be best understood when the photos come back. Ginger bread houses, motorcycles with old friends and a late evening at Starbucks. There were many exceptional moments and many notable thoughts. One observation in particular came in an overdue chat with Neil while drinking an unnamed fru-fru drink made from something that isn't coffee.

The Romans of the first century A.D. considered the Christians to be atheists, because of their refusal to adopt the pantheon of gods that everyone else embraced. This label led to much misunderstanding and even persecution. We noted how similar postmodern American culture is to that of the early church, at least to those in Corinth. And then the observation came--we are like atheists again. We stand out because of our refusal to accept the many views of truth. In a sense, we are the anti-culture. We have been labeled the intolerant.

What a relief. The Gospel absolutely exploded in a culture like that. Now we just have to relearn what exactly the Gospel is and stop doing church.

Road Trip Compilation

2005-12-21T01:01:00.000-06:00

Sorry to all you Feedblitz folks, but that was fun. I'm compiling the whole trip and comments under one post, so it doesn't take up so much room! I think I'm a fan of mobile blogging, even if it is text-messaging instead of emailing in (I'm too broke to pay for email on my phone). I don't know how to make it take headings--it normally reads the subject line, but my phone doesn't send a subject line.

And hey, it was in Mckenzie, TN. That's the funny part.

Monday, December 19, 2005

We head for TN in the morn. I'm going to try to update the blog from text messaging. More l8r!

-steve
posted by Steve at 7:24 PM

Tonya said...
I read another blog this morning with the same title, but when i went back to comment, it was gone.
It still shows up on my bloglines that you recommended-i wonder why that is.
I hope you guys have a safe drive and that your 'vacation' is restful- when i visit family, there is usually more running around than actual time spent with friends and family, so it is anything but relaxing. blessings to you, and have a great christmas! Sorry we will miss you guys :(
Tonya
7:36 PM, December 19, 2005

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Headed Out! It's 6:52 and we're on the road. Not too bad, and not too full. The cargo box is for the trip home only. -steve

posted by Steve at 6:51 AM

Texarkana. 9:10. -steve

posted by Steve at 9:09 AM

Tonya said...
ok, i actaully laughed out loud at this one :) ahhh texarkana...memories of the pruitts flying by on the interstate while we waved out the hotel window. can you take a picture of our house that they bulldozed when you pass through memphis?
9:33 AM, December 20, 2005

Little Rock at 11:15 (I think--I forgot to enter it). -steve

posted by Steve at 11:38 AM

sekondstory said...
ok, now I know why you are using text mess., I thought why not use a computer?.... I get it.
It's 11:35, where are you?
12:34 PM, December 20, 2005

sekondstory said...
never mind I thought I was commenting on the 9am post :)
4:12 PM, December 20, 2005

Lunch in Forest City, AK at 12:30. We had to go for McDonalds--haven't seen a Cracker Barrel in over 100 miles. -steve

posted by Steve at 12:42 PM

1:10. Leaving Forest City full of gas (not from McDonalds). About 50 miles from Memphis. Oh, AK is Alaska. I meant AR. -steve

posted by Steve at 1:09 PM

Memphis. 1:55. -steve

posted by Steve at 1:55 PM

Mary Ann said...
technology is amazing.
finished that book.
still didn't bite me.
was really good.
am going to read it again.
hopefully over christmas.

"fear and rebellion" It's still there...and I still don't know what I'm afraid of or what I'm rebelling against. I didn't give you grief with those two did I? Or at least too much grief...?
2:02 PM, December 20, 2005

Mary Ann said...
oh! are you going to be at Grace anytime? And I know you'll be incredibly busy, I'm sure, with everyone to see, but would you come to a cigar meeting with the society?
and are you going to be going to Grace?
2:04 PM, December 20, 2005

2:09 first vomit, east Memphis. Damage minimal. -steve

posted by Steve at 2:16 PM

Christopher said...
This is great... its like we're in the car with you! Oops, maybe that is not so great on this one... :)
2:35 PM, December 20, 2005

f1rststorysaid...
heh
2:58 PM, December 20, 2005

Jackson, TN at 3:10 central time. -steve

posted by Steve at 3:08 PM

Mackenzie making #2 in McKenzie, TN. 3:25 central. -steve

posted by Steve at 3:23 PM

sekondstory said...
Gross! too much information.
4:15 PM, December 20, 2005

Tonya said...
TMI, Steve!!!
4:16 PM, December 20, 2005

Nashville @ 5:05. Rush hour... -steve

posted by Steve at 5:06 PM

Tonya said...
I have my own blog now
5:16 PM, December 20, 2005

Cracker Barrel at exit 219 (Lebanon?) east of Nashville at 5:35 central. -steve

posted by Steve at 5:33 PM

sekondstory said...
Almost in our time zone..yeah!!!
5:44 PM, December 20, 2005

7:00 central. Finally leaving Cracker Barrel. -steve

posted by Steve at 7:00 PM

f1rststory said...
hmmmm....at this time you're in knoxvegas I bet...cool. I'll go get some more gas & oil for my bike tomorrow if I get a chance. ;)
9:03 PM, December 20, 2005

knoxville at nine fifteen central. [editor's note--easier to spell than shift for numbers while driving] -steve

posted by Steve at 9:14 PM

Done. 11:00 central. 950 miles or so. 16 hours. -steve

posted by Steve at 11:15 PM, December 20, 2005

Grace

2005-12-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

On Sunday nights, I come home from the church at about 7:00. Typically, traffic is low and I veer from the main route and take a series of semi-rural roads just to see fields and trees and horses and to pretend that I'm not surrounded by a couple million people.

This Sunday, it was about 65 degrees, the wind was light and there was no one in front of me once I broke from traffic. I got a little carried away and it took me back. I cranked down the window, turned up the heater and cut off the radio. You quickly remember that you have more ambition than actual courage on roads you can't see, but it was a real pleasure. One I miss.

I shot from the illussion of a country road back to the multi-lane reality that mocks the yet undeveloped land and began to throttle back. One mile from home, and not far from reasonable, I met an officer who showed great enthusiasm in quickly turning around and presenting me the single option of stopping my car.

I was a good citizen. I set the brake, shut down the engine, placed my hands at 10 and 2 and awaited her instructions. As she explained why I was being stopped, I sincerely asked how fast I had been traveling. I moaned a sign of regret and left it at that. It wasn't so bad, but I made no whine or complaint. I knew exactly what I deserved.

Then there was grace. "Mr. Pruitt, a verbal warning tonight, but you need to slow it down." Be careful not to mistake it for mercy--this was a gift, not merely an escape. As I pulled away, I understood God very clearly. "Steven, you've had your fun, now stop. I'm giving you this warning."

It makes me think--I wonder what other warnings He gives me that I fail to notice? I wonder if I ever get his mercy confused with the grace of a warning? It's one thing to worship a God who shows mercy. It is an entirely different thing to worship the God who gives grace--who seeks to prevent the very action that might test his mercy. Thoughts?

Lisa's 2 Things:
1-This site will let you see anything on the internet that is linking to your page.
2-This site will search through most blogs for anything you want to find (like yourself).

Purpose

2005-12-05T20:04:00.000-06:00

It's easy enough to understand how Rick Warren's book on Purpose became such a big seller--we all want to make sense out of the circumstances around us. We all want to believe that God can take the most humble of circumstances and give us meaning in the midst of them. Unfortunately, I fail to find words to encourage those who, through careless decisions in their youth or simple inability, have found themselves serving drinks and busing tables in their mid-forties. Certainly, God desires to use them, and we hope that faithfulness will move them to greater responsibility, but ever coming to believe that a swing shift at Dennys is God's plan for your life is a little hard to hope for. And that's in America--this gets harder in cultures where an American minimum wage is a staggering amount of money.

So, I believe there has to be a better answer. It is noble to suggest that service through the church holds a key element of the discussion and I believe there is some merit to the suggestion. Through the use of our gifts in ministry, we sometimes find the strength to endure and even thrive in a less-than-ideal career. But I think there's more and I stumbled upon it a few weeks ago in an accidental conversation with a small group from school.

Christians struggle a lot with issues of identity and we were assigned to discuss the meaningfulness of the distinction between naming Christians as "sinners who had been saved" or as "saints who sometimes sin." We were fully prepared to dismiss it as an exercise in semantics, until we noticed something about our own language. We have no idea what a saint is. Mind you, we're seminary students and we do get it, but the word saint has become so muddled with formal definitions and trivialization that it carries no really useful image for us. But, it did for Paul and as we looked more closely, we saw something significant, something purposeful.

Here's the introduction to one of Paul's letters:

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,
To the saints in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus:
2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
-Eph 1:1-2

It's not important that Paul addressed the Ephesians, it's that he called them saints. He does the same thing to the Romans, the Corinthians (2nd), and the Philippians. But, in 1 Corinthians and Colossians, he says something different, at least in our translations. There he calls them holy, one time as nouns, the other as verbs. Greek comes in really handy in places like this. Holy as a noun, holy as a verb and saints are all from the same basic word. They all mean holy. Paul calls the Christians this name over and over because he was intentionally re-forming their identities. What had once been common people, he now called "holy, set apart." These people had changed--they had become something new. Where saints no longer stirs us, this still has meaning. We are the set apart. We have been given purpose--no longer as common things but now as articles for noble purposes.

And in itself, it is significant to see that Paul was casting a vision for the people who received his letters--he was ever so persistently reminding them that they were no longer mere sinners, mere commoners. And on its own merits, this may supply all the purpose that many Christians need, but it still is nebulous. It declares a new identity and many sermons have run afoul in seeking to define the new and noble usage of these now holy vessels, but this alone is merely a description and not yet a destination.

Here's where our real discovery was made. Again, the Greek is handy. We have known all along that those living under the Law in the Old Testament came to God on his own terms and they did so through the temple where he dwelled. More specifically, they came to sacrifice at the temple, and a physical manifestation, a presence of God, the Spirit of God, dwelled in the inner sanctum--the most holy place, the holy of holies. Right between the wings of the cherubim who perched on the Ark of the Covenant. The temple was the most sacred of all places on the earth.

These common people, these sinners, Paul now called holy. But more importantly, he called them the temple (1 Cor 6.16, 2 Cor 6.16, Eph 2.21.). They had indeed arrived at a new identity and a new era of human history. They were now the most holy places on earth. In them, the presence of God, the Holy Spirit would dwell. And that is where purpose is found. Here is the destination. It is the purpose of the believer to be the vessel, the tent, the dwelling of the Spirit of God upon the earth. He no longer resides on the top of an ancient box. He no longer demands that seekers come to Jerusalem and pay tribute and make sacrifice. Rather, he made sacrifice. Now he sends us out to the very ends of the earth and we take him along, broken vessels nonetheless. It is our duty, our role, our calling, our purpose. We are the bearers of God.

Wherever we are, whatever we do, we are to take Him there and hopefully, carefully, prayerfully, others may see Him inside us. We can do that. It really has little to do with us. He simply asks that we allow it to happen--that we remain ever-mindful of that which dwells within us. That we yield to the Spirit who fills us. Purpose. Even in India. Even in Peru. Even in Rwanda. Even in Dallas. Even at Dennys.

The Epithet of Hananiah

2005-11-26T01:30:00.000-06:00

I've been reading a lot in the Old Testament lately. I admit that some was for a class, but as I journaled the reading, two passages lingered. The first is Job 28:

28 "There is a mine for silver
and a place where gold is refined.
²Iron is taken from the earth,
and copper is smelted from ore.
³Man puts an end to the darkness;
he searches the farthest recesses
for ore in the blackest darkness.
⁴Far from where people dwell he cuts a shaft,
in places forgotten by the foot of man;
far from men he dangles and sways.
⁵The earth, from which food comes,
is transformed below as by fire;
⁶sapphires come from its rocks,
and its dust contains nuggets of gold.
⁷No bird of prey knows that hidden path,
no falcon's eye has seen it.
⁸Proud beasts do not set foot on it,
and no lion prowls there.
⁹Man's hand assaults the flinty rock
and lays bare the roots of the mountains.
¹⁰He tunnels through the rock;
his eyes see all its treasures.
¹¹He searches the sources of the rivers
and brings hidden things to light.
¹²"But where can wisdom be found?
Where does understanding dwell?

These words are stunning and beautiful. If I were a miner, I'd write them on my hat, perhaps on my tombstone. The passage ends with an assertion:

23 God understands the way to it
and he alone knows where it dwells,
24 for he views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.
25 When he established the force of the wind
and measured out the waters,
26 when he made a decree for the rain
and a path for the thunderstorm,
27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;
he confirmed it and tested it.
28 And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord--that is wisdom,
and to shun evil is understanding.'"

That last verse is the ringer--it ties Job to the entirety of the Torah. Somewhere in evangelicalism, we have lost a bit of the fear of the Lord. Sure, we shun evil, but we miss out on the fear thing. We spend our effort explaining how we don't really have to fear Him, how he loves us and we just need to respect him. But that's not entirely true. I'm excited about Narnia coming out in theaters because it will give us a good way to talk about this--it's no coincidence that Lewis used a lion to represent Jesus, and there's more than the lion of Judah going on. Aslan is kind. Aslan is good. And yet, Aslan is fierce. He is not to be trifled with.
That's what I love about this other passage. I don't mean this in a morbid way (previous posts aside), but someday I hope that the epithet Nehemiah gives Hananiah will be true of me--even placed on my tombstone:

7 After the wall had been rebuilt and I had set the doors in place, the gatekeepers and the singers and the Levites were appointed. ²I put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the commander of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most men do.

Courage

2005-11-23T00:31:00.000-06:00

I was just writing on another blog about Elijah and the whole fed-by-ravens incident (1 Kings 17). I really wish God told us how long it took for the brook to dry up, because I think we miss some important things in the passage. It's easy to look from a distance and imagine Walden pond and a content and reflective Elijah sitting back, smoking his pipe as the sun set, awaiting the arrival of the ravens. I doubt it was like that. We have no picture of his life before, but I'm pretty sure things turned lonely and monotonous very quickly. And these weren't eagles dropping by with fresh rabbits. I'm not sure if ravens capture living animals, but if they do, I imagine they look more like rats than rabbits. Otherwise, I'm wondering what kinds of dead meat God would allow them to bring. Obedience costs us something.

The problem I face here in Dallas, is that I continually re-evaluate the price. It was easy to obey God when he first pushed us this direction. Two-and-a-half years in, it gets a little drought-like from time to time. We try not to talk about it on the blog, but sometimes the financial issues are completely defeating. We're not starving--we still eat out more than we should, but it's hard not to when Wendy is so tired. In essence, she lives life like a single mom so I can be in school. We often re-evaluate how quickly she should return to work, but that line of thought fails to address the reality of our schedules.

Sometimes I'm lazy and undisciplined. Sometimes I'm exhausted, but most nights I get about two hours with my family and then disappear to study or be undisciplined in an effort to try to study. I usually don't use the two hours as well as I would like. I'm certainly not the servant they all need right now. On Wednesdays, I drop the girls at school and don't get home until after bedtime. The next morning, I leave for class before they get up. That's about 36 hours without seeing them. Sundays are better because I come home during the afternoon. I know: whine, whine, whine--everybody's got it hard. We're really thankful for Fridays and Saturdays right now. I usually remain confident that we're in the right place, but Wendy told me tonight what the girls were getting for Christmas and I trembled in my resolve. Sometimes it's all I can do to stick out this plan.

Obedience costs us something, but I wonder how long that stream lasted.... I fear that ours will be dry for years and I wish I knew when the ravens were coming.

Privelege

2005-11-20T22:31:00.000-06:00

Today, I told over 3000 people how to interpret the Bible, how to raise children and how to honor parents. In preparation, I prayed, sought wisdom and studied, but in the end, the words were mine alone and I am responsible for them. Sometimes that frightens me.

I know that I worship a beautiful and merciful God, but it humbles me to think of the incredible responsibility it is to step into that pulpit. We teach people to study the Bible on their own and we trust that the Spirit leads each one, but the pastor still shepherds and guides an entire flock and it should sometimes cause him to lose sleep....

I'll post the message once the file's ready, but the slides are on the right (Andy, take a peek).

Update: the sermon's up and it's in mp3 now. You can get the real audio stream from here. Sorry, no podcast!

A Well-Spent Sunday

2005-11-13T23:54:00.000-06:00

I knew today would be different from the moment we got to Tom Thumb. We were already running late for church and no one was fighting about it. 30 minutes later we drove past Bent Tree, doomed to enter the service almost a full half-hour late. Since there are four of us who nudge our way to a seat "excuse me" style, we considered that a bit too late, and we went on to Starbucks where I saw at least four other Bent Tree folks. I bought three kid's size hot chocolates and had a wonderful talk with a breast cancer survivor that opened to a discussion about faith, and then my family went to my office to down the cocoa.

At the office, my daughters had a great time playing with the remote control flatulence machine (I can't bring myself to say "fart") and the Whoopie Cushion that had been left in my chair. Then Maddie spilled it all over herself and Mom rushed her to the van for a clean shirt (Wendy has those kinds of things in the van) and on to class and for Deersnake's debut lesson. For lunch, we decided to grab some sandwiches and some store-bought cokes and head to the Arbor Creek park for a picnic. It sounded wonderful.

I grew up in the country and I'm pretty accustomed to bees, but I've never had so much trouble with honey bees. I don't like to kill honey bees, but some bees bother you in ways that are sure to get a child stung, like flying near an armpit, so I began to strike. After I killed 13, we decided to eat our cookies while walking on the trail. I'm pretty sure that a couple were following me. Perhaps I had picked up a pheromone or something--Madison thinks I might be made of sugar. Bee 16 stung me while I squeezed him thoroughly (it was getting intense), and upon killing bee number 17 (honest, we were counting), we got in the car. Then Megan shook her Sprite to drink the bubbles and spewed it all over her pants! We taught her how to close the lid when that happens.

Back at the office, we changed a wet pair of undies (from the Sprite) and Mackenzie fell in the toilet, which put a damper on her otherwise nearly-complete potty training. And something embarrassing happened to Wendy that I promised not to write down. Then we passed time until Wendy's meeting (which is why we stayed in Carrollton all day), had a sing-a-long with Seth, watched Mike's Hootenanny video and things got quiet for awhile. After the meeting, the girls came over to my class until they were bored and Mackenzie had a poo-poo accident because the earlier trauma had kept her from using the bathroom.

We got home about seven and rushed to eat the incorrect order we picked up at Long John Silvers so Megan and I could finish the Cherokee Indian house we were making for her class tomorrow. As we ate, we narrated the events of the day and began to see the necessity of writing this down. Once in the garage, Megan and I realized we didn't have time for her to change clothes--if she went back inside Mom would make her get ready for bed and we'd lose the moment. So, Meg shucked her extra clothing and put on my apron and we mudded the roof of her Cherokee mud and wattle house. Then the kids went to bed and Wendy and I talked through Gray's Anatomy without worrying about Greek this week.

Today's Cost:
1 missed worship service
1 trip to Tom Thumb to make a kindergarten class special (reimbursed!)
3 small hot chocolates that make little girls smile at Dad ($3)
1 inspiring conversation with a breast cancer survivor
1 dirty shirt
5 students who hung out during our missed service
1 chance for Deersnake to teach for the pure joy of teaching the Bible
1 hastily eaten lunch from Baker Bros (too much $; back to McAllister's)
3 large drinks from a quick mart ($3.50)
17 dead honey bees (really, I don't lie about bees)
1 well deserved bee sting
1 botched picnic
1 sing-a-long
1 funny video that they didn't get but made them feel like big kids
1 lesson on carbonation
1 game of air hockey with a poker chip
2 pairs of small underwear
1 potty setback
3 girls who like Whoopie Cushions: 1 lady who doesn't
1 wrong order from LJS that tasted the same anyway ($17.50)
1 Cherokee dwelling replica completed in an apron.
1 long and relaxing talk with Wendy
1 letter for our new friend Maria

Total: one of the best days of my life.

Rolling with Stones

2005-11-11T13:45:00.000-06:00

Wendy just got back from the doctor and it looks like she's got a lot more fun to look forward to with her kidneys. There are multiple small "stones" present and more tests ahead to determine a course (either to halt their growth or to attack them). So, one x-ray down and now one to come every six months (and a deductible to meet in the meantime). You can read about our first kidney stone experience here.

Reminiscence

2005-11-10T21:07:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm always embarassed to admit that I actually write poetry--I fear it damages my manly image... Anyway, I wrote this the other night, in reference to Robbie Oyler in particular, but to suicide in general. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, just melancholy lately. Richard Cory is a character from 1890-1897 created by Edwin Arlington Robinson. You can read his poem here.

Reminiscence

Richard Cory was my friend
and all of us in love with him
were smitten on the third week's end:
he flew away like dust in wind.

Eyes that spoke of peace denied
and emptiness where hope should hide
and grace alone could not abide
the many, many nights he died.

Curse the year and curse the day
of birth and snakes and Adam's way
and all who look behind and say,
"What if?" "Why me?" or, "Let us pray."

Tears were made to bless the eye;
prayer was made to bless the sky.
Weep and sing and laugh and cry--
it's appointed unto man to die.

Despair's the price of Eden's pride
or if a sovereign Will presides,
pain's as deep as blame is wide,
reminiscing suicide....

(c) Steve Pruitt 2005
11-9-2005
12:58 am

Loss and Lingering

2005-11-08T01:27:00.000-06:00

I apologize to those of you who don't want to be reminded of June 18, 2005, but it's been five months and I find that I am still struggling with my own thoughts and feelings. Robbie Oyler's death marked the third student I am aware of: James Norwood in 2002, Patrick Owen right before Robbie. For the past several days, I've been listening to Lifehouse's "Come Back Down" over and over in the car. I will forever associate it with Rob. In my own efforts to process and support Robbie's many friends and their own struggles, I fear that I have yet to really talk about it. I've yet to reconnect with the Sarwins or read the letters or visit the park in order to satisfy my own morbid need to tie off the loose ends.

Many of you were at the funeral and experienced that remarkable moment of both weeping and worship as Todd led us in singing "We Fall Down." It will remain a signature moment in my life--a sincere expression of hope, joy, pain and misery all in one instant. We have all wondered about the experience of sorrow once we enter the eternal Kingdom and I think we glimpsed the possibliity that joy and mourning can co-exist.

Some of you know my past and know my own struggle with depression, or at least the version I have shared with you. Others of you know the experience personally and you know the permanent changes that enter your life once you have ever opened the door to suicide. You know its lingering persistence and the frequent reminder that it exists and you know the resolve you have found to ignore it. Such is life, but it's been five months and I find it difficult to push aside and Robbie remains an ever-present memory.

Robbie took on significance in my life that was almost symbolic. Surely, he was one of my first students, but he never went away. Robbie's trips to college were always followed with time where we could reconnect and an ongoing knowedge of what his life was like. I can trace his story simply through the pictures I collected with him since he was in 6th or 7th grade. We were together in Atlanta, Colorado, Kentucky, Peru and Puerto Rico. I watched him grow in ways that I have never gotten to see--the journey of many years that I now experience only as a father--and I grew up right alongside him. In many ways, he shaped me.

Texas has been a season of difficulty and struggle and loneliness for me personally. His death was almost too much for us. Wendy and I had gone out for our anniversary to an Art Cafe in Plano with a gift certificate we won. It was the kind of place Robbie would have liked but would have made fun of--I am often surprised by how frequently I weigh my surroundings by what Rob would have thought. Tim called during dinner and we began the journey that his sickness has forced many of us to undertake. In numbness, we went on to the theater to see Batman Begins. Wendy needed to talk about it, but I needed a dark place to sit without speaking, a place to cry. Robbie would have liked that movie.

Pieces came together later. I understand why he didn't tell me he was in Dallas, but I still grieve the serendipitous conversation we had just a few months prior. I was testing new messaging software and Robbie was cleaning up a computer when we stumbled onto each other online. We talked a long time--I wish I had thought to save the transcript. He talked about coming to Dallas, getting a new start. He talked about the struggle he was having since the breakup, but I truly had no idea the real scope his depression had reached.

I wish so deeply I had known him these past two years, but I looked at a stranger in those recent pictures at the funeral. And yet, there was something so familiar. I remember those empty eyes and that vacant stare from my own life and I continue to mourn the loss of hope he was experiencing and the comfort he found in despair. God led me out of that place. Robbie didn't come out. It's so easy to trace a path of regret and wishes and to weigh our role in his life, but I know better. Depression is a bitter friend. It blinds you and deafens you and dulls you and sometimes it wins.

So, five months later, I'm continuing to unpack the emotion of that event and the place Robbie held inside me. Sometimes I feel that I have no claim for that kind of sorrow--Robbie had closer friends and stronger ties, but I cannot help what he had come to mean for me. Now I move forward, plagued by that sense of failure and loss, searching to find my own heart again. If the other events of our life in Texas were not so trying, I would say that we bask in the opportunities of seminary, but that's simply not true. It's been hard and I needed to get that all onto paper, or whatever this is. Superchick says it really well in "Beauty from Pain:"

I know it won't be today, but someday I'll hope again.

Thanks for listening.

A Day Without Expectations

2005-11-06T14:21:00.000-06:00

Today, we ate lunch at a deli in Plano before making the trek home. The deli had allowed a very large group to reserve several tables and 3-4 families were forced to eat outside. We ended up with the only umbrella (I requested it since I saw it earlier) and it was pretty nice, but two of the other families weren't very happy and they let it be known. From the way they were dressed and the fact that one circled up to pray, it was obvious they had just come from church, so their complaints really stood out. Mind you, it wasn't the complaints that were awkward, it was the way they were made and the tone that was used--these were people who expected to be treated better than that and they spoke with condescension.

Perhaps a complaint was in order--it was unusual to reserve so many tables for such a small deli, but that's irrelevant to my point: what expectations cause problems for us as believers? What are we allowed to expect out of life?

I remember a staff prayer time back in August where Becky asked us to pray for her dental surgery and mentioned that she didn't have any expectations on the outcome of her procedure. That really struck me and I've been rolling it around in my head ever since. As an American, I expect to be treated a certain way. As a white man, I expect to be treated a certain way. As a working man, I expect to be treated a certain way. Those expectations are the source of much disappointment and anger in my life and I'm afraid that most of them are nestled down in some kind of pride and sin. Somewhere deep down, I think I deserve to be treated a certain way and I am angered when it doesn't happen. I wonder how much of it is just sin, straight out? As a believer, what expectations should I really have? Doesn't my Bible teach me that every good and perfect gift comes form the Father? Doesn't it teach me to be content? Doesn't it teach me to rejoice in hardship?

One thing it never teaches me is to expect things from people. It never teaches me to assume that I will be treated as special or noteworthy or even worthy. I think that realization is part of what makes the light of the gospel so bright--we shouldn't have expectations on life, it's been cursed. So, when God steps into the scene and offers to adopt me, it's a big deal. Really, what would it be like to live a day without expectations (ok, you need to expect bridges to hold you and stuff, but not expect others to meet your needs or standards)?

Mourning in Waco

2005-11-01T19:44:00.000-06:00

Jonathan tipped me to this link on his blog. It's an interview with Kyle Lake, the pastor of University Baptist Church in Waco who died this weekend. For those who don't know, University Baptist is where Dave Crowder worships--it's a church with a heart for our generation and it has lost its shepherd. Pray for them and their dependence on the other Shepherd as they seek to find their way.

Pumpkin Party

2005-10-30T23:24:00.000-06:00

It's one of the few traditions we've managed to create, but we're really proud of it! This year, Mackenzie outsourced her design through Megan, but Madison and Megan drew their own (the tongue was Meg's idea too). Madison did some cutting and Megan actually cut out those eyes (I used a drill for the freckles; yes I know I'm a redneck). Can you identify them by personality (hint: they picked their own pumpkins)? They go (clockwise from left): Madison, Mackenzie, Megan.

Compare to last year's crop (clockwise from left): Madison's self-drawn, Megan's self-cut and Mackenzie's dad-did-it special.

Mr. Beaver

2005-10-27T00:37:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Job. Actually, I've been listening to it on CD, but that counts I think, especially since that how the first several millennia of God's people would have accessed the book. It's remarkable to hear it aloud--things fit together in whole new ways. Anyway, Ron Allen thinks the goal of the book is to demonstrate that God is free. He does as he wills. The wicked suffer, yet so do the righteous and both are sometimes blessed. "Why" isn't answered. I'm not sure it can be. God chooses, that seems to be all we're given, except for the ever-important caveat so well understood by Mr. Beaver: He is good.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately--this idea of sovereignty and the way my impression of it has changed quite a bit. After all, God claims outright in his words to Moses in Exodus 4 that it is he who makes man deaf or mute or seeing or blind. He tells us in Job 38 that the lightning reports to him. We don't really believe this. We work really hard to understand a hurricane in the Gulf or an earthquake in Kashmir. We want to believe God would judge with one but not the other. We want to believe he had nothing to do with it. We'll accept his hand if we can see a reason. But we don't get a reason. The lightning reports to him. He doesn't owe us a reason.

Do you remember a coach or teacher or leader who ever pushed you past your breaking point? Do you recall a time when you could take no more and then you took more and you were angry and even a little bitter. But, you looked back later and saw that not only did you not break, you excelled? Suddenly, months later, you noticed that you don't get tired after the first mile or you understand more than you ever realized or you accomplished something you hadn't imagined? Then, that person became your favorite coach, your favorite teacher.

How come we get so bent out of shape when God does exactly that and he spends much of his Word telling us that he's going to do it? We whine every time, only we don't get over it so easy. We may not ever see the result. Practice doesn't end. Class doesn't dismiss. Life is practice. Only when it ends will we finally understand. Maybe the bitterness will last until then, but it will someday go away. Someday, this ends and He will become our favorite teacher. Maybe He is already...

Emergent or Divergent?

2005-10-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

Christianity Today has a review of D. A. Carson's book on the Emerging Church. This weekend, I spent some time digging around and fear they are on shaky ground theologically. I think parts of the movement are asking important questions (I really enjoyed Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller), but the core seems to be the same folks who brought out the labyrinths 5 years ago--I think they may focus so much on new spiritual experience that experience is placed above revealed truth. Pete used Colossians 2:18 to address a similar issue this Sunday. I can't fully defend that yet, but I'll work on it.

I got halfway through Nehemiah today. It contains the account of an entire nation re-forming itself out of the ruins of the past. As they progressed, they made decisions based on what they assumed to be true. As the priests began to study the Law, they were sometimes shocked to learn the truth found therein and they had to radically alter their decisions. God doesn't always flow out of the kind and well-intentioned logic of those who think they understand him. We don't learn him simply from the traditions or assumptions of the past. First, we take him at his Word, then we seek the past to help us understand it. Sometimes, that's divisive, but it can't be the other way around. Faith seeking understanding.

Revolution

2005-10-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

I just found this about Barna's new book from Matt Payne's blog. I've been thinking a lot lately about the difference between generations as we're used to them and the shift toward a new post-modern culture. I think this may be what Barna is touching. Let me know if anyone gets the book. Someone needs to read it. ;-) The article is here.

I keep asking, "If we make a shift toward small communities of small groups and people are finding worship, teaching, care and impact in those communities, then why will they continue to come out on Sunday mornings?" I know there are some answers, but I haven't heard great ones. Barna might suggest that there are two distinct groups emerging--those who will use Sunday to be a family and those who will come to church as a family. There may be a true divergence of thought and need emerging. I'm intrigued.

The Blogging Community

2005-10-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my new friend Stuart Cohen, you can enter your email to the right and be emailed anytime I post on this site. That way you don't ever have to check here to see if anything changed. Put in your email and then reply to the email you get from Feedblitz and you're all set.

On Tuesday, Mike and I took Stuart to lunch at Cheddars in Irving. I can honestly say he's the first person I've met on the internet and everything went great. Wendy was pretty concerned about me meeting with someone I met online, but I reassurred her based on the content of his blog and the great resouce his links are. Then I told her something bad happened when I met him, but I explained I was lying and that he was a really neat guy. You can actually read about our lunch on his blog.

However, the best thing about Stuart is the community that he represents. He is one of many Christians with great technical aptitude and a heart for the local church and he shares it freely on his site, but he's also committed to using those gifts well and not helping churches jump from tech guy to tech guy on an endless pursuit of someone's newest favorite program. Check out his links.

There are a lot of us out here who are finding a genuine sense of Christian community with believers in other time zones. I know it's hard to believe community can happen that way and it certainly helped to meet Stuart in person, but I already knew him before we met. He even asked me how my dad was doing--my non-web friends don't even ask me that. Let that little piece of post-modern culture sink in and tell me what you think.

Serious Journalism

2005-10-15T18:01:00.000-05:00

This clip aired on the Today Show on Friday. Let it soak in. Apparently even her colleagues couldn't hold back their laughter during the live broadcast. All of us sometimes try to cast the best light on things, but it sure is funny when someone gets caught. She defends it by saying she had been in rougher water earlier and the network was afraid she would get hurt... ("It's not like we were trying to pass it off as something it wasn't," spokeswoman Lauren Kapp said.)

Download Clip (originally posted on Newsbusters.com).

It does make you think, though. How often do we retell an incident by adding new information? I mean, she had been in deep water, she just wasn't any longer; but she was trying to make us believe otherwise. Some might say this is not dishonest because the conditions had been true but could not be safely reported. So, she construed a new truth and sought to replicate an old one. I wonder how often that's done in journalism? I know Bush got a lot of flak for something similar which seems to have been misreported, but had it been true it bothered us. We want to believe that journalists in dire conditions really are in dire conditions, but I wonder how much is staged--an effort to re-create truth, but nevertheless, false. If this happens on the Today Show, how much is added to print media? Information from one source that seems to come from multiple sources or events that occurred quickly seeming to have taken months. Our God deals with this directly. He says "I am that I am." I've always understood that to be an assertion of his self-existence, but maybe it's also an assertion of his nature--he is as he is. There is nothing false in there. I can trust that.

Pine Cove Fall 2005

2005-10-03T15:00:00.000-05:00

Thoughts for Tamar and Blue Like Jazz

2005-10-03T12:17:00.000-05:00

We were away for camp (retreat) this weekend. Late Saturday night, I walked out into the woods alone with my flashlight off. I didn't last long without the light (an armadillo gave me a bit of a scare), but I pressed on to the clearing at the lake and lay on the picnic table and stared at the northern cross and spoke to God in the darkenss--completely at ease and yet fully aware of my fear. I walked all the way back without the light. My soul really needed it.

I read Blue Like Jazz this summer (our whole student team did), and I pushed Luke to read it and have promised to send one to Mary Ann. I think the conversation the book creates is really important. I think he's right in a lot of things and he's right not to ditch the church--the church just has to be willing to keep asking these questions all the time. We tend to forget that ministry to a group of people 3 years ago may be nothing at all like what we need now and we have to force ourselves to keep asking what it means to follow Christ today, not yesterday. Many leaders in the church share this burden, it just gets hard--but God is faithul to raise up new voices to remind us if we'll listen.

I know many of my and your generation who find the book especially significant and we can't exactly explain why it's not just speaking of a new trend or a new "movement." It's about a new culture and a sense of longing. I don't have answers here, yet, but I think the book moves us past the borders of American evangelicalism and back into the fold of world-wide Christianity. We live in a religious culture that has made Christianity about us, and that's a mistake. I no longer teach people that "God has a wonderful plan for your life." Now I say, "God has a wonderful plan for the redemption of humanity and he wants you to be part of it." It's subtle, but the perspective shift is important and it puts the emphais back on Him and not me.

Generations

2005-09-19T20:39:00.000-05:00

Jill spoke to us this morning about her grandfather and his influence on her life. Some of us knew more of the story, but when she visited him two weeks ago, he remembered her as if the bad days had never come. Dementia can be a gift.... She read to us from the Bible he had given her as a child, and it struck a chord. The Psalm she read, she could only read in King James--no matter how hard she tried, she would always remember it that way, in the innocence of simpler times.

When my sisters spoke of Grandaddy, they sometimes mentioned the hard times. They knew the stories about he and Dad that I had been shielded from--the stories that made Dad leave home. By the time I came along, his vigor was fading and the fire had dwindled. That's the way I remember him. Innocence and simpler times. When he died, Dad took me to the house and I went through his tools--the one thing I would most treasure and my cousins wouldn't desire. I know every tool in my toolbox and it's past. I know which ones came from his hands. I understand the marks on them and the stories they tell. I know his masonry hammer was sharpened on a grinder and the wheel ate into the handle. When I look at it, I always wonder if he did it, or some young carpenter sharpened it in haste...

When I use them, I feel connected to something bigger than me. I feel tied back to the hands of my fathers and I understand something within me. Those tools teach me about my own Dad and they teach me of his father and his father before him. They teach me why I love to work with my hands and how it came so naturally. My grandfather died in 1993. I had some time with him in the end. We talked about tools and such. He told me to get a hat that would cover my ears and he told Dad about the angel he saw. His hope in Christ carried through those last days. That hope carries my father and now it carries me. Our past winds back through time like a footpath in the woods--darting here and there through the trees. Few of us ever come to recognize the gift that it is and the story it will tell us if we quieten our hearts and walk along it's leaf strewn trail. I think God speaks to us through it--He tells us who we are.

Gilligan's Dead

2005-09-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

I know it was last week, but I've been busy, and sick. I'm sad about Bob Denver. I grew up watching Gilligan's Island almost every day. It was the product of a simpler philosophy--a time when television didn't try to reflect reality. People watched tv to relax and laugh. No one then knew how much people would pay for in-depth profiles of sin and strife. Now, we're obsessed. Gilligan reminded me that we could choose something different to laugh at. Paul said it was shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. Yet I'm entertained by it... I'll miss Gilligan.

Discipline versus Discipleship

2005-09-01T11:17:00.000-05:00

I started a conversation with our Family Pastor today about my sermon coming up Nov 20 and would love to have any insight you might offer as I prepare. He's been talking about the Shemah lately (Deuteronomy 6:4-5) and how the Israelites neglected to pass on the teachings of their ancestors.

There's a lot of work to do yet to study the passage itself, but this train of thought is compelling (at the moment).

Sermon Text: Colossians 3:20-21

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The conversation has been something like this (slightly edited):

I want to use the Shemah some for this sermon (at least, I'm leaning that way). I think the command to not exasperate, might be understood in the positive with DO disciple your children (your OWN children). Not only does North Dallas resemble pieces of this in the busyness of our culture, but those in the church tend to look to the church to disciple their children. Proverbs 1:8 actually says "do not forsake the Torah of your mother." Solomon's words here are referring back to the Shemah, given by God through Moses. Here, he is telling us to take the Torah (the law through Moses, the Shemah being the esseence) on as a necklace, as a garland. Jews used to wear the Shemah on their foreheads and tied around their arms. Solomon is playing with words and painting a picture of receiveing instruction from your parents (which assumes it is an essential part of who they are) like wearing the Shemah on your head. It's good, like a prized necklace. That's discipleship. Not exasperation.

I'm suprised at the number of parents who call us wanting us to disciple their kids. Certainly, we want them discipled and we do many, but the kids have to want it. I sometimes challenge the parents with, "I could show you how to do it. Would you be interested?"

I think there are some powerful insights to be had in transitioning from being an enforcer of rules to being a discipler.

Bruce: I like your sermon thoughts and I'd love to see you tie in discipline also if it fits.

I believe that the command "bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" encompasses discipling and disciplining.

Maybe the trick is in the balancing of the two. We tend to get stuck on discipline alone and end up frustrating/exasperating our children. If we begin to take the challenge to train and coach we move out of this as they grow old enough. I need to see the Greek and see if the word for children carries any age connotation. If these are little children or young people.

The "children obey your parents in everything" part may keep me away from some of this (because it's not about discipleship or seeking their wisdom), but there may still be a connection. It's the magic bullet really, children who obey and parents who don't frustrate them... If we can give them something practical to walk away with that morning, we'll have done them a great service.

Ongoing...

2005-08-29T05:15:00.000-05:00

Just spoke with Mom (Monday afternoon):
Sisters, if you're reading this, don't tell her I told. After two weeks, Dad goes back to his physician, but if things aren't progressing well, he'll go to a pulmonologist. That's all to be expected. What disturbs Mom, however, is that pneumonia has been so quickly found. In her experience, it is always very difficult to find it. It doesn't just show up the size of a baseball on an X-Ray. So, she's still uneasy...and worried.

Monday:
Dad's going home this afternoon and they believe it truly is pneumonia! There will be a follow-up X-Ray in two weeks to confirm and monitor, but for now, that's it. Antibiotics and no chemotherapy.... Thanks for praying!

Saturday:
They want to keep Dad until Monday, at least, so the radiologists can look at him. There's a spot on his lung the size of a baseball. It might not be pneumonia... Mom's having a hard time talking about it. Please pray for my family.

Friday:
Dad was doing better today. The initial tests for tuberculosis were negative and no one has mentioned a stroke. They had a scare this morning when he started shaking pretty significantly and the doctors ignored Mom about it at first. Later, she pointed out that they had been failing to give him Morphine, to which he is necessarily addicted. They had sent him into withdrawal and later apologized.

Daddy

2005-08-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

My Dad fell down this morning and is in a hospital in East Tennessee tonight. Mom awoke at 6:47 to find him with his feet still inside the house, but his body sprawled onto the concrete slab, one step below their back door. He hadn't even called for her--he just lay there until she got up. Remarkably, he didn't break any bones, but he's not well. He has pneumonia and they await the results of today's CT scan to see if a stroke was involved.

Dad's been struggling with a range of ailments these last few years and an event like this makes us all really nervous. In honesty, there have been weeks where I was amazed he was still walking. Certainly, the lack of broken bones reminds us that he is still a bit tougher than we thought--at least on the outside. His insides are a mess, but there's more to this.

On the inside, Dad has been softening. It must have been over a decade ago when I explained that I wasn't going to be an engineer and was moving toward full time ministry. He was disappointed and it hurt, but I only hold onto that memory for one reason: he's not disappointed anymore. I don't remember exactly when the changes started. After his first heart attack, our relationship began to shift. By the time Grandaddy died, we would have regular conversations about the Bible and God's goodness. A trip to Virginia about three years ago was the clincher. Something happened on that trip.

Dad has always believed, but I'm not so sure he used to believe that the forgiveness God offers really applied to him personally, and I don't think he really believed it was free. He does now. Don't read ahead--those of you who know Rex Pruitt wouldn't really call him tender. But if you know him well, you know that he sits by the beds of those who are dying, and he does the laundry on Mondays and he teaches the Bible to his class every Sunday. There are hints of Galatians 5:22-23 on the insides.

Daddy's proud that I am in ministry now--he tells me whenever he sees me. I'm proud of him too. Please pray for him to heal. We want him to see me graduate from seminary. And pray for mom too--she found her husband lying in a doorway this morning. I'm sure we can imagine what her fears must have been. And pray for my sister, who is taking care of them.

Gorillas in the Midst

2005-08-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the first official practice for the Rowlett Gorillas--my very own soccer team! Actually, they're the Green Gorillas, or just the Girl-illas, but we stick with Gorillas to keep it simple. I know what you're thinking; "Doesn't work and seminary already make it hard for Steve to save time for his own kids?" Well, yes, but this is also Madison's team and Megan is my assistant. Madison got sick and couldn't make practice, but Megan did a great job setting up the field!

Truth be told, I know very little about soccer. But I know a lot about kids, and even more about parents. We told the parents that one of our primary goals was to teach each of the girls what her value was to the team. Granted, 5-year-olds don't play like Beckham, but some are fast, some are brave, some are clever and some are intimidating. In the end, we want these little girls to believe they are special--not because everyone is special, but because we've been able to encourage very specific things in each of them through the season. But the best part is the parents.

Wendy is awesome. For the parent meeting, where the coach tells the parents what's going on and how much they owe, most coaches meet at the practice field and roll through the material. Wendy had them all over for tea and cookies and we sat in our living room with a group of strangers and we got to know every parent and where they work. One mom even told Wendy about the custody issue they were struggling with. For those of us who work in the church, you cannot imagine how good that felt and how good it is for my family. We have a group of people who are trusting us with their children and allowing us to enter their lives and we have no idea where they are with Christ. Pray for us. Sometimes the best thing in the world for an overwhelmed family is to add one more thing--one thing that keeps everyone focused on why we're here in the first place.

Laptops for the Lawless

2005-08-22T20:09:00.000-05:00

This is pretty sad. I'm especially disturbed by the way people blamed the county for poor management. They should have known that people would trample old folks who got in their way. As if...

Bear Essentials

2005-08-15T23:47:00.000-05:00

Last week, Wendy's dad noticed an especially large dog outside his Tennessee home. When his wife looked out the window, they realized it wasn't a dog--it was a bear. Wendy's parents live inside a city of about 60,000 people. There aren't supposed to be bears there. Animal Control assured them it was being tracked and would be returned to the mountains. So much for the bear.

The next day, Wendy's mom saw the neighbors outside and went to the rescue. She informed them of the bear story and proceeded to bang two pots together to keep the bear at bay. Anyone who has seen the Discovery Channel knows that was a good plan, but there probably wasn't a bear within miles by that point. There's a lesson in here.

Many of us live in fear of bears we have never seen. We convince ourselves that they're real and then when trouble comes, no matter how small, we panic because we have already taught ourselves that it must be a bear. Jack Groppel calls these "boars in the woods" and says they derail us from our mission (Jack doesn't know about the bear, but he actually tests this on people using a fake boar).

If you ever see a bear out your window, then grab some pots and make some noise. But most of us have never seen a bear anywhere near our windows. As believers, we don't have to be derailed by fear of things that aren't there. Quit being afraid of them. Do not conform any longer to the [fears] of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is.

Made in China

2005-08-11T00:29:00.000-05:00

Wendy's doing much better--the stone seemed to pass sometime Friday evening. When you live as far away from your church as we do, it's pretty surprising to watch people step into your lives. Wendy called me at work on Thursday; Allie immediately offered to come keep the kids so we could go to the hospital. Friday evening, Amy called and ordered supper for us at Chilis. Sunday afternoon, Stephanie handed me a meal for the night. And, of course, the Riot of Passage at Six Flags went well without me, even with a thunderstorm in the middle of the day (I have a wonderful team and a great boss).

The church is an amazing thing, really. Sometimes you wonder why we bother; other times you wonder what you would do without it. Moving to a metroplex is no easy task. We often wonder about those who do it completely alone. We were lonely, but we do have the church and we too easily take it for granted. God provides through the church.

I've been troubled lately by the famine in Africa. Do Christians ever starve to death? I mean, Paul had times where he was in hunger. Certainly Christians die in persecution. Mr. Abassi told me of some students at his seminary who had recently witnessed a beheading by their captors and began to pray they would be shot instead of beheaded. Somehow they escaped. Here's my real question: Who's responsibility is it to make sure no Christians ever starve to death? In the New Testament, it was the church. Paul collected from the wealthier churches to provide for the poor ones--the ones who were hungry because they were persecuted and couldn't find jobs.

Our church has adopted a people group in India. The Marathi people. Sometime in the next six months, we want to send a team to India to make a DVD for our body so they can meet the Marathis and learn to love them--so a wealthy church can care for a poor one, a persecuted one. I might actually get to go. When Megan looked it up on the globe, she said, "Why don't you go to China and then you can see how everything is made."

Riots of "Passage"

2005-08-05T11:21:00.000-05:00

Wendy is doing much better...after we learned she has a kidney stone at the emergency room last night! I've never seen anything that hurts so badly--the pain honestly causes vomiting (not the stone, just the pain). She's medicated now and resting and we await the passing of the stone!

In the meantime, Wildlife is at Six Flags for the Riot of Passage--a key moment for the entry of the new seventh graders. It represents a defining moment for our students--a day when they truly become part of Wildlife. They'll spend the first half of the day (11-3) on a 150 task scavenger hunt that spans the park and pulls from multiple gifts on each team and requires the use of a backpack, a Polaroid, a calculator, a stopwatch and a flashlight! The teams allow you to keep one friend and then force you to meet and work with 6-7 other students. At supper, the winning team gets a gift bag with a $15 movie card for each member--not too shabby!

As Wendy sleeps, I'm listening to myself preach at Bent Tree last weekend. I confess that's strange, but it's valuable for me to critique and learn from the experience. If you're interested, or morbidly curious, you can listen here. I'm kind of excited about it--I get to teach again on Nov. 20!

Deep Thoughts

2005-07-22T00:36:00.000-05:00

Today in class, we looked at a very worshipful arrangement of a Rich Mullin's song set to video and majestic nature pictures. Then we were shown a second version using images of human suffering and devastation. We all struggled with the repeating lyric, "everywhere I go, I see you" and its reference to God being revealed in all of creation. Then it hit me...the images of death in the second video were no more fallen than the majestic vistas of the first. Why is it that we so quickly forget that all of creation is fallen and it is in that fallenness that the earth screams out for the hope of redemption. It is in that scream that He is revealed. He is present in the mountains. He is present in suffering. He is glorified by both and that's really hard for us...

One More Meeting!

2005-07-20T23:00:00.000-05:00

Okay--it wasn't the academic dean, but an academic advisor, but I'm still really thankful for the prayers! We actually walked from campus to a Chinese restaurant a couple of blocks away. He was helpful and signed off of the reclassification. Tomorrow, I meet with the admissions boss (I don't know his title). It should go well, but we'll see! After that, we're all set for a ThM.

Tonight at Wildlife, we sent the 8th grade up a week early since Jonathan was here (our candidate for the senior high position and the guy who got our whole department into the blog-o-sphere). The 7th grade was great tonight. We played awhile inside and one student asked if my summer school class was because of cemetary... Then we prayed and it always breaks my heart and inspires me at the same time. There is nothing like a circle of junior high kids who will pray for each other.

We were small tonight (summer and no 8th grade) and only had about 25, but it always starts the same way. One asks for prayer for their cousin's sister's step dad but within a couple of minutes someone asks about their Dad's cancer or their friend who died or the divorce they fear is coming. It hurts my heart, but it is amazing to watch them look to God for a way through it all. Sometimes deeper conversations follow (I'll be praying for you in case you're reading this) and remind us all why we take this path of vocational ministry.

G'night.

Short Prayer Request

2005-07-19T22:40:00.000-05:00

I'd like to ask for a short prayer...I meet on Wednesday (12 central) with the academic dean from DTS to discuss my desire to re-classify as a ThM student (instead of the Christian Ed degree I started on). This is kind of crossing the Rubicon for us, because it commits us to at least another 4 years and it is very difficult to get on a lighter program once you're in. And, it will mean I have to start Spiritual Formation (a two-year discipleship process I can't get out of andhave to pay for!!). And, it means we're committing to move beyond the Stafford Loan we've been using up till now (runs out in 06). So, you could pray we win the lottery too--especially since I've never entered it! ;-)

Thanks ya'll--I'm nervous about this decision but we think it's the right thing. If you remove all the other concerns (like graduating at 40 and $ and time), we both believe I should pursue the full degree, languages and all. We left Tennessee with a commitment to not be controlled by fear. Please pray for clarity and unity as Wendy and I move forward and for our sustained ability to thrive as a family through all this!

Vacation Pics!

2005-07-19T22:38:00.000-05:00

We've decided that we really like camping and we really like the beach, but we're not so sure we ever want to camp at the beach again (to quote Wendy)! However, I felt like I was on a mission trip with my own family after all these years--it was a really great week! We even found this really cool head buried in the sand... ;-)

Getting Started

2005-06-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

Nothing here, really. Just a line to get the site started.